The Relaunch Effect: The 7 actionable steps you can take to Relaunch Now! with Author, Speaker, Trainer, Host of The Silver Lined Relaunch, CEO, & Star of ABC’s Secret Millionaire Hilary DeCesare on Episode #0 …

Intro [0:00]
EA Interviews Episode 187. Inspiration, transformation, success stories, and the Imperfect Action Round seven days a week. Join Mario Fachini for today’s Expert Authority Effect Interview.

Mario Fachini [0:13]
I am super excited to bring to you CEO of the ReLaunch company, star of ABC’s Secret Millionaire, love strategists, executive coach, Hilary DeCesare. She’s going to be sharing with you right after we thank our sponsor.

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Mario Fachini [0:44]
Here she is, ladies and gentlemen, the lovely Hilary DeCesare. How are you doing, Hilary?

Hilary DeCesare [0:48]
I am wonderful. So happy to be here.

Mario Fachini [0:52]
I am excited to ask you about your program and the seven steps that you have to get people further ahead.

Hilary DeCesare [1:03]
Well, it’s interesting because you have an effect. And I, too, have the ReLaunch effect. That came out of years and years of corporate business, and entrepreneurship, running companies coaching, anywhere from mid-level managers to executive CEOs that are launching and selling hundred plus million dollar companies. And I decided that since I’d been coaching for almost 20 years, how could I easily give the knowledge and information that so many people have learned through working together? And through my own experience, how can I do that in a really fast way? And so I created the ReLaunch Company. And this seven steps, which is the ReLaunch effect, to be able to do that. To really drive home the idea that anyone at any time, whether you’re going through a relationship ReLaunch, you’re going through a business ReLaunch, you’re going through life ReLaunch, you could be going through all of the above types of ReLaunch. And what exactly is a ReLaunch? A ReLaunch is that period of time where something is happening where you have to make a decision. You might be feeling stuck, frustrated, overwhelmed, underwhelmed, but you can’t stay where you are. And what we’ve been able to do is provide through these transitions, incredible transformations. Transformations that are life changing when you’re sitting here looking, you know, at potentially, your mid-30s or 40s, 50s, and you’re like “What’s next? And how do I do it?” That’s when the seven steps kicks in.

Mario Fachini [2:56]
Why do you think people have that feeling? You know, whether they’re in their 30s, 40s, 50s, even 60s, do you think that’s just part of human nature? Do you think it’s the sum of all bad things that have happened or all good things that have happened? Why do you think so many people feel that way? Because I’ve seen it in my clients. And I don’t know if there’s really an age. In my opinion and experience, it’s more of a frustration level of, you know, “I wanted to do this when I was bright eyed and bushy tailed at 18, 19, 20 in college.” Who says that anymore? For the record, where did that come from? I mean, really. But you know what I mean, at a young age, you have all these dreams and aspirations. And it’s like at some point you lose it. You know, I heard that most people die by 25, but they’re not buried until 75.

Hilary DeCesare [3:51]
Well, actually, you know what? When you look at the concept around ReLaunch and people having many relaunches and mega-relaunches, a lot of times, initially, I would think, “Gosh.” That midlife that you have the most, you know, why do we call it a midlife crisis? You know, we call it a midlife ReLaunch. But then what happened when we launched the ReLaunch Company is that I have early 20 year olds coming to the ReLaunch Company saying, “I feel like I’m in a major relaunch and I don’t know how to do it. I don’t have the tools to get through it.” And so when you look at whether you’re trying to find a job, whether you’ve just lost a job, whether you’re trying to find a spouse, whether you’re going through divorce, whether you’re in the process of doing something and you’re like, “I’m not where I should be.” What happens is that it all goes back to our beliefs that started when we were really young. And if for some reason you are in a place where you’re not content with where you are right now, it’s because where you think you should be, is not aligning with what your beliefs were when they were created when you were young at that foundation level. That’s when we become frustrated, stuck. It’s because all of a sudden, you know, I had this great image that I would be a mom of three and have a husband of 20 plus years. All of a sudden, it didn’t work out that way. I ended up with the three kids, but I got divorced. I had to find another man out there in my life. And this is where it gets really interesting. People have a tendency to not want to go through life if they’re not in that place. Can you still hear me?

Mario Fachini [5:59]
I can.

Hilary DeCesare [6:00]
Oh, good. My whole screen went blank, so I thought maybe I lost you. But let me go back to this point. Because this is so amazing to have people really understand this. If you have a belief, that was a foundational belief that was created by your friends when you were young, your parents, your teachers, and then all of a sudden, that is how you’re operating your life. And it’s giving you the questions that you’re asking. It’s giving you the type of questions. Well, if you’re so stuck in a belief, you’re not going to be able to ask yourself those better questions. We always hear, ask better questions, get better answers. Well, if your belief is such that, “Hey, I was supposed to have a husband. I was supposed to have three kids. I was supposed to be living the dream life having the corner office, running the hundred million dollar company.” And you’re not there. And all of a sudden, you’re disappointed with yourself. So when you ask these questions of yourself, like, what should I be doing? How come I’m not be there? Well, your actions dictate what your answers are. And once your actions start to happen, then that’s how far you’re going to get in the process. Which, if you really think about it, Mario, this is like, a never ending cycle of discontent unless you can really figure out where did all of this start. Why do I believe what I believe? Why is my mindset the way it is? And that’s when you start to have the quality of life that you really want. That’s when things start to miraculously appear. That’s when – you know, everyone’s talking about manifestation these days. Well, manifestation is only going to be as good as what you believe. And so, for what we’re doing in the ReLaunch Company is, we’re going back. We’re helping you really redefine where do you want to be right now. Let’s realign what you’re thinking. Let’s get your purpose out there. What do you want versus what does everyone else want for you in your life? That’s when exciting things start to happen in ReLaunch.

Mario Fachini [8:12]
That is powerful. And I want to ask you two sides of it. Because I would say, generally – and correct me if I’m wrong – but, generally, when I hear people say, “I want to ReLaunch. I need to re – what’s another word? There’s this one word I’m thinking of.

Hilary DeCesare [8:30]
Reset.

Mario Fachini [8:32]
Reset.

Hilary DeCesare [8:31]
Reimagine. Restart. I mean, I’ve got all –

Mario Fachini [8:35]
Reinvent. Reinvent.

Hilary DeCesare [8:36]
Reinvent. Yes. Huge one.

Mario Fachini [8:38]
There’s all these, like, pivotable turning points. And in my experience, it’s been, basically, I don’t like where I’m at. I want to do something different. And now you’re relaunching, reinventing. Do you ever see anyone that has, like, has everything they want, and they’re just complacent, and they just feel like they’re out of it, but nothing is really going wrong. Or is it always like the antithesis of they’re not where they want to be.

Hilary DeCesare [9:06]
No. That is such a great question, because I have had a gentleman just came to me about six months ago. And he had just sold his company for $250 million. And he said, “I don’t know what’s next. I don’t know what to do because I’m not happy with where I am. I have all the money. I’ve got multiple houses. I’ve got what I thought success meant. And yet I’m not happy.” And so what we did is we looked at his identity of where he was in his life and his identity was so wrapped up in the sale of the company. But it was for all the wrong reasons. It was wrapped up because when he was young, he thought his dad had always said, “The only way you’re really going to be successful is if you have a company, you can sell it.” So that’s what he was going for. And then he did it and it was almost like, “Now what?” And now what phase? What happens with him now? So we had to go back and say, “What is success? How does it feel? What does it make you like when you’re really in the moment of having success? Is it the money in the bank or you’re seeing it’s not? But it’s the fact that he was missing that quality of life that he really wanted, which was to have the love around him. And I got to tell you, Mario, it always goes back to love. It goes back to self-love. It goes back to once you have that really innate core love of yourself, which I got to tell you, nine out of ten people I work with, they’re missing this. There’s theories out there that say love your life, love your job, love your relationships. And it’s so far away from what inside people feel. So I start them with, “Look, like yourself. Look, like yourself to love your life.” And in fact, that is my book. This is my book that I am in process of doing. It’s Like Yourself To Love Your Life. And when you can do that and you can start down the path of that self-love, which for so many of us, we laugh about it. We’re like, “Oh, self-love. That sounds like a joke.” It’s not. It is the secret. It is the secret sauce to quality of life. You know, you can’t have balance of life until you genuinely like yourself. And then when you start to creep into that loving yourself, I got to tell you, I mean, this happened to me. After my divorce and I had three young kids, I was running a business, I had gotten cancer, I had melanoma. And just nothing was going right. And I thought, “How do I handle the situation right now? How do I even make one step forward?” And I realized, it’s like, I was the missing link here. It was an inside job. And I was looking for everyone else out in that world to either be there, step up, change. I want everyone else to change. I didn’t want to change. That’s too darn hard. I want other people to change into what I believe they should be. And as soon as I took that back, as soon as I said, “You know what? No. Change me. Love me. Understand me. My purpose. Why I’m here.” All of a sudden, then my health got better. My relationship with my young kids started to just be incredible. I found this amazing man that I married. And now, I’m serving people out there that have struggles. And, again, they’re many. They’re mega. Right now, especially, people are in fear. And if you think about the opposite of fear, it’s love. The people can’t even get out of their own way with the fear of everything. When people don’t know about an outcome, they can’t envision where it’s going to be. You get into the fear of like, “Am I losing my freedom? Am I losing the consistency of what I know?” Then you get into that fear mode. And so, you know, we talk about getting you out of it. And we talked about you know, being able to look back on your life. And most people are like, you know, “Well, I failed there. I didn’t do that. I didn’t do this.” And as soon as you can do a reset, which is what we talked about, and reinvent yourself, and where you want to go, you give yourself forgiveness. That you actually are where you are today because you, as a person, with many different multifaceted levels of you inside of you. From the time when you were a little boy, to the time when you were a teenager, to a man, to 20s, 30s, all of those encompass Mario. They’re all you. All of the things that you thought were mistakes, were they? Or were they silver linings that got you to where they are? And I started a podcast called the Silver Lined ReLaunch to be able to highlight people to be able to highlight those moments that were like, you know, “This is the worst time. I don’t know if I’ll ever get through it.” And then you get through it and you’re like, “Hallelujah. I’m so glad that happened because I wouldn’t be where I am right now if that didn’t happen.” I can tell you, you know, numerous times in my life. I can still remember right after my divorce – right after I separated, I decided to go skydiving. And I drove up – it’s going to sound crazy, but people do call me “I Love Lucy.” This was a Lucy moment. All right. So this is one of my Lucy moments. I decided to do this. It sounded like a really good way to, like, put an end to one area of my life and move forward in another. And as I’m driving up to this plane in Mexico, and I’m with my best friend. We’re going to do it together. This, “Let’s just have a brand new beginning.” And I looked to my left and there’s a three legged dog. “Oh, God. Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.” And then I get there and they say, “Yeah. We actually do this barefoot. We don’t like people wearing shoes.” So I remember putting my feet down. And it was on that cold metal of the plane. And we’re going up and we’re getting higher and higher. And I’m looking out the window. And I think to myself, “Okay. I need to do that.” Like, movie in my mind of what have I been through, what are the hard things that I’ve accomplished, and how have I been able to do it.” And all of a sudden, I thought, “What am I doing here? How do I reverse this movie?” And then I just said, “You know what? This is it.” From the moment I leave the plane until the moment my toes hit that warm sand, this is when I accept all of the things that have happened to me. And I, actually, look into myself and I say thank you. Thank you for getting me through them. Thank you for allowing me not to go completely off the walls. That I am still here. I’m still a good person. I’m still doing the things I love to do. And I stepped off and I free fall and it’s super, like, crazy. And then it goes really quiet when the umbrella thing – what’s the thing called?

Mario Fachini [16:52]
The parachute.

Hilary DeCesare [16:53]
Parachute. Thank you. The parachute pops out. And what was fabulous is when I landed, it was the biggest rush. And to my right, not even 15 feet away, there was this little teeny shack. And this person ran out – the waiter ran out with a shot of tequila and a beer, like, “I have arrived.” And that’s the way I try to get people to realize their lives, their transitions, that you, too, will arrive but you got to be gentle with yourself along the way.

Mario Fachini [17:28]
I got to ask why did they not want you wearing shoes?

Hilary DeCesare [17:34]
I think because – and I’m glad you asked that. I thought long and hard about this. So the other person that was skydiving with us, he actually landed on somebody’s umbrella and crashed into this person, ended up not hitting the person who was sunbathing under the umbrella. But I was thinking there must be something where, since we’re landing in the beach, and there’s a possibility of going off track, there is a lot of land that is protected. And I kept thinking there must be something with all of, like, the feet, and the sand, and that’s okay. But, yeah, when this guy landed on the umbrella, I’m like, “Okay. There must be something around that.” Anyways, just my thought. I don’t know.

Mario Fachini [18:21]
That’s interesting. I’m thinking you survived the fall but I’m just thinking what if your foot lands on a cactus or a rock or something like –

Hilary DeCesare [18:32]
Oh, yeah. No, Mario. I haven’t thought this through. But the greatest part is that, the silver lining, it was the most exhilarating experience. I use it as an analogy all the time. I talk about, you know, the fact that how can a shot of tequila and a beer be so great and so rewarding. And it’s just crazy. And that’s the way life is though. Life –

Mario Fachini [18:59]
It should be exhilarating.

Hilary DeCesare [19:00]
Yeah. It should and it is. And when we get off course, you need something where you can fall back on. And once you learn the ReLaunch effect, once you’ve learned it – learning, and doing, and knowing is very different, right? You can think like, “Oh, I know this. Oh, yeah. I got it.” But when you start to act upon it, when you start to put it into practice, that’s when you’re, all of a sudden, aware. “Oh, I got another ReLaunch coming here.” Because that’s what life is. Life is the human race. But there’s a reason it’s called a race. We’re racing through. There’s going to always be something that pops up, always. And what we try to do is prepare you. And one of the things that we have coming right now that we’re doing is this thing called “How to get unstuck in seven days?” And it literally breaks down seven minutes for seven days the word ReLaunch. And going through every letter, we describe something that you can think about for the day. And what people are saying is that, “My gosh. Hilary, through the ReLaunch effect, it gave me even more. But this was such a good refresher. And now I’m noticing that, one, I am at all coming up to a transition. And I’m looking for a transformation. I can merely say the word ReLaunch and it calms me. It calms down that fear.”

Mario Fachini [20:28]
You’ve anchored that in them that so deeply, it now has that effect on them?

Hilary DeCesare [20:34]
Mm-hm. It does. And it’s an incredible, incredible process. And I can honestly say that there is not one person right now, whether it’s them, whether it’s a family member, that’s not going through a ReLaunch. It’s just so important for me to realize that ReLaunch is your stepping stone. A ReLaunch is going to have a silver lining. And I lost my mom in the fall to cancer. It was a sudden one year. She lived with me the last year.

Mario Fachini [21:10]
Sorry to hear.

Hilary DeCesare [21:10]
She was just my best friend in life. And if I can sit here and say that there was a silver lining around that and incorporate that into my work, and incorporate that into my teachings, and encouraging people that even in the darkest, even the darkest night, and the dark night, and how am I going to get through this financially, in my relationship. And there’s people that are calling me these days saying, “I have never been happier with my relationship.” And there’s people saying, “I’m so desperately wanting a relationship. I’m so lonely.” And then there’s people saying, “I’m done. I’m done with my relationship. I’m ready to move on. This has now allowed me to really look at what do I really want?” And you had made a comment about, you know, the purpose. And when we come to the realization that we all sit there and we’re like, “Hm. What is my purpose? What does that mean? Who am I?” That’s such a big monster, monster question for so many of us.

Mario Fachini [22:22]
It can be overwhelming but it can also be very simple.

Hilary DeCesare [22:26]
If you are willing to not look at every single thing that’s gone on in your life, and it’s something like a struggle that this was such a bad situation, and there’s people who say, “Think positive. Think positive. Think positive.” Well, there’s an element of that that makes so much sense when you start to think about the way your brain is hardwired. The way your subconscious is not only listening to the words, you’re saying, but the thoughts you’re thinking. And I’ve been passionate around neuroscience for years. And I’m getting degrees in a bunch of different things around it. But this is where just a simple act of a ReLaunch of having steps of feeling confident, like, “Hey, I have done this before.” How can we expect people to do things when they have never done anything like it? and they have to just get through it. And my attitude is, time is precious. And if I can help people get through things faster, and easier, and come out the other side feeling empowered by it, transitions to transformations, it’s like, “How do I do that with as many people as I possibly can?”

Mario Fachini [23:49]
I want to ask you about the nature versus nurture. Because there’s people who say, “Well, I grew up this way, blah, blah, blah.” And I know the success stories of how a lot of people that grew up bad, transformed into good, and vice versa. There’s people that had every advantage in the world than just shirked all responsibility and threw it out the door. How much do you think it actually plays a role, the environment you’re in versus if you just put two people who were born the same way and they had the exact same upbringing, how much of a role do you think it plays?

Hilary DeCesare [24:21]
So here’s the thing, nobody, even if you’re in the same environment, you’re two different people. You perceive the way things are in your life differently. No two people, even if they’ve had the same environment. Even if you talk about twins that have grown up in the same area and one decides to do this and one decides to do that. One is depressed and one is completely on the other side and happy. Here’s the thing, what we all have within us is choice. And what people forget is that they have the ability to choose what their thoughts are going to be, how you are going to perceive a situation. So when you look at somebody like Oprah, by the way, her biggest fear is to end up a bag lady. All right. Where did that come? I mean, if you think about, how much she has, how did that happen? Well, growing up in a poor family, that belief – you know, I’m sure, probably people made the comments like money doesn’t grow on trees, and you got to work until you bleed, and you got to do all these hardship. Those are the people that have the money. And these are the people that don’t. And we’re one of them. And we’re on this side of the tracks. Those ideas stay with us. And that becomes our identity. And it becomes who we ultimately will become if we let it. But what I was explaining earlier about the quality of life is that you have the decision. Just because you grew up, just because you had horrific things happen, the way you are going to think about those, the way that you are going to frame them, the way that you are going to say, “You know what? You take responsibility for yourself.” And that is the biggest key that we start with is, owning up to who you are. And those ideas, those beliefs were not yours. They were somebody else’s. And they tried to imprint them on you. But you, just as Oprah did, she’s like, “I wasn’t going to be that kid anymore. I wasn’t going to be the victim.” And we go through this thing, the victim versus the victor. And the victor is the one that is, “I’m going to own this. I’m going to take responsibility. I’m going to be my destiny.” And the victim is the one that has the shame and the blame. And a lot of times in my coaching when I hear someone starting to get into that, like, “Well, it was my upbringing. It was my dad, my mom, my brother, my boyfriend. And that’s why I am this way.” I ask them to start to think about themselves above the line. Above the line again. Because they’re getting into the thoughts. And when a thought starts to take you down that path, another thought happens, and another thought, and another thought. So, instead, what we have to do is, again, understand. Most importantly, when you’re trying to figure out your purpose, it’s who do you want to be? When you look at the person that you want to be, when you look at somebody you admire, what do they stand for that you admire? What are their characteristics? And then you start to emulate those in yourself. You know what? You don’t go out and run a marathon overnight. This is something that you have to work on. But it is the most rewarding work that you will ever have in your life. When you can start to realize that this happened to me, but it doesn’t define me. It happened to me, this bad situation happened to me, but I am now redefining how I am going to let it be my future. And there’s this awesome – I’m sure you’ve heard Zig Ziglar, he says, “Be do have.” You have to be the person, first and foremost, and then do the things that they would do to then have the life that you want to have. And what’s going on in life today is that we’re all going with the have be do model. You know, if I have that great guy, if I have that amazing wife, if I have that amazing job, then I’ll be able to do all these things and I’ll be happy. The have be do doesn’t work. It doesn’t work. It fails every time. You can’t start with, “I need to have this first. I need to have the money in my bank before I start to do this.”

Mario Fachini [29:01]
And what if you never get to that goal or it takes so long you miss out on the rest?

Hilary DeCesare [29:06]
So here’s the problem, we have all been taught the wrong way of goal setting. We have all been taught, “What’s the outcome? What’s the outcome? I need to know the outcome.” And guess what happens? This guy that I just told you about who sold his company, he, all of a sudden, had to have his goal. His outcome was sell that company. Sell it for a certain amount and he did and he wasn’t happy. Instead, what we needed to do was sit there and say, “What will make you happy when your company – how will it feel?” Not the outcome itself because what happens? Another example, a person I was working with was selling his dentistry practice. And he had four or five dentistry practices and he was selling the whole thing. And in his mind, he always wanted to have ten of them. And now that he didn’t have that, he was disappointed because the outcome, even though he was selling it, he was selling it for more than he thought, the outcome was not what his goal in his mind had been. So that’s where I say, it’s super important when you’re starting to go down. And we do this in our program. We really get to the core. Again, I was mentioning, how much I am a big fan of tuning up your mind, your brain, so that the outside starts to reflect what’s going on in the inside. And this becomes super important goal setting.

Mario Fachini [30:38]
So when people are going through this process, I know, you said you have seven steps, can we touch on the first couple? Because, obviously, the benefits outweigh no matter anything that someone has to do. But I just know that someone’s listening going, “All right. Sold.” What’s the first step?

Hilary DeCesare [31:00]
So I talked a little bit about the first one. So I’d like to talk about a step that’s further along in the process. And it’s around rebranding. And this is where you look at that identity, you look at who you are, how you’re showing up, and all the way down to – you know, I have very successful people come to me and they say, “I look exactly like I did when I was in college.” And first off, I’m like, “Well, if you look exactly, congratulations, because that’s really great.” But then I sit there and I say, “Is that a negative? Is that a positive?” And for so many people, just like I mentioned earlier, we start out because this is our image, this is our brand, this is the way I am on social media. And what happens is you end up coming up with a mask for your personal life that you wear, show up as one person. Then you have another mask for how you show up when you’re at work. Then you have another mask for your dreams. And you have another mask for that internal side of you. And what we do is we walk you through making sure that they’re all in alignment. Because when they’re not, when you’re constantly like, “Who do I need to be? Who do I need to be? How can I show up here? I’m one way with one person and I’m one way with another.” That’s exhausting. And it’s also not authentic to who you are. And people talk a lot about – they come to me and they say, “Hey, I feel stuck.” Or, “I feel like I’m just not moving as fast as I would like to in some of the areas of my life. I’m not going to where I ultimately think I should be.” And what we find is that when we can align the different areas of their lives together, again, it’s that immediate concept of love in the middle. And think of like a three legged stool. And the stool itself is that inner love. And each one of the legs is your relationships, your work yourself. And when you don’t have the seat, when you don’t have that seat in that foundation of that self-love, what happens? It goes squirrely. You have these people that are like, “Yeah. Gosh. I’m killing it at the office but my love life sucks.” I got a friend that I just interviewed on the podcast, and she did a Iron Man. And I was her Sherpa for the day over there. It was the most exhausting day of my life. But ,you know, she’s killing it but yet she wasn’t happy in another area. And so when it all comes together, that’s when you really have this concept of life the way you wanted. That quality of life. Quality of life is so important, yet people don’t know how to get there. They just assume like, “Oh, is it the balance of life?” No. Because there’s always going to be something off balance, but you have to be able to ride the wave with it. And what we want to do is build up all of the areas so that when something happens, it’s not a roller coaster. You’re not doing the loop de loop, you know, at California. You’re not going around and around. Instead, it’s just an even, like, up and down motion. You got it. It’s a flow. And that being in the flow,I mean, that’s that’s when everything starts to happen.

Mario Fachini [34:44]
You know, you’re touching on a lot of good stuff here and I’m thinking of – I was having a debate, if you will, talking about the peak performance and, like you said, some people, you know, their advertising, their branding, their whole company was around being a peak performer. They had nine out of ten areas jacked up in their life except business. They were very aggressive and good. They were aggressive with business. But the rest was just like, you know, they were complaining about it. And I’m thinking congruently, how can you say you’re peak performer when it’s like, you should say, I’m great in business. That’s easier. And I remember asking Kevin O’Leary the balance question, because it was something I was, you know, wondering myself a few years ago. And I asked him, I go, “Have you ever found any balance in life after all the years and everything?” And he’s like, “That’s a great question. You’re never going to be at balance.” Because I hear people, they’re like, “Well, I can’t go to that one extra business thing because it’ll put me out of balance from personal.” But then they’re complaining about personal. You know what I mean? It’s just like, they’re playing this mental ping pong. And he goes, “The pendulum will always swing but the goal is to get it to a point where you’re not like a roller coaster going back and forth,” like you’re saying. Why do you think people have this feeling that there’s some like holy grail of balance, they’ll get right down the center? Where do you think that comes from?

Hilary DeCesare [36:19]
Because that’s what the gurus were telling you. They’re telling us like, “You can. You can have it all. And you can be at that highest level. And you can have this and have that.” But guess what? Life is going to happen. Life is, I call it, hell in the hallway. You’re in the hallway, and something bad, and which door are you going to pick. And there’s going to be those doors, those times in your life where, crap, you just keep picking the wrong door. And it’s a matter of getting into the flow where you’re like, “All right. Oops. I’m going to take a peek in that door but I’m not going in that door. I’m not allowing myself to go all the way in.” And that’s what I try to get people to do. And I think that the problem is that, depending on whose home you grew up in, whose parents you were raised by you, whose teachers, because they’re sharing what they think is the most important. You know, I grew up in a family that was work hard, play hard. And you’re all in. When you’re working, you are working yourself to the bone. And when you’re playing, you are playing all out. I mean, you’re just like, crazy doing everything fun. And it became exhausting. Because when I, all of a sudden, was at a point where I was burning myself out of – I was getting all of the top awards and really reaching what I thought I really wanted in my career, I was miserable in my personal. And I was the first one to realize that I was the roller coaster. I was that highs and then crashing lows and then highs. And I was looking for my next high. Like, “Okay. Now, that I just did this, what else can I do? What else can I do?” And there’s a point where I still do that. I still have, you know, lofty goals and things that I want to do. And I call myself like this magician of manifestation. And, actually, the company has coined me the Midlife Fairy Godmother, the original MFG. And why is that? Because, literally, with these programs, I can give you the tools, the wand that the magic comes from within. That spark, that inner wanting of you first and foremost have to want to have a higher quality of life in all areas, because that’s what you can have. That’s what you deserve. That is right there at your fingertips. These people that say, “Oh, well. He was able to do it. But ‘ve never been able to do that.” Well, the universe is not sitting there saying, “Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, you’re going to be successful, but you’re not.” It is how you show up that makes all the difference. It is how you go through the steps. We talked about rebranding, but there’s also this idea of repositioning. And I call it the personal power pitch. And it’s like an elevator pitch, but it’s for you. It’s for you to feel about yourself. The way you would feel about the products that you’re selling. And once you start to realize that you are your own product, and then you start to realize like “Wow. If I have one point of failure as the product, then the entire product will fail.” So think of yourself as the entrepreneur of you, and this is where we take people down that process.

Mario Fachini [40:02]
That is powerful. And I can see why you are so passionate about what you’re doing and the results you get for your clients. I want to ask about those results. Who is the biggest transformation you’ve been able to give someone?

Hilary DeCesare [40:18]
Besides me?

Mario Fachini [40:21]
You know, you mentioned the guy earlier and I’m like, “That’s a pretty good success story.” Five minutes ago, I’m thinking, “She might use herself,” because you’re pretty awesome.

Hilary DeCesare [40:32]
Thank you. Now, I have to say in a very short amount of time, in seven months, literally, I had my mom get diagnosed and become terminal. I had my own health scare. I was an empty nester and she went to college and ended up in the ER over there. And guess where she was, she was in Rome, Italy. So then we had to evacuate her. Then I decided after 25 years to sell my house. And I could go on and on and on. And I never would be able to be here talking, sharing, saying, it is possible to get knocked down and get back up in flow. It is. And I can tell you hundreds of stories of people that have come to me that were just feeling like, “I’m so stuck. I don’t know what the first step should even be.” And I guess, my gift to the world, my purpose in the world is to serve those people and to help them realize that, again, no one is any better than the next. It’s a process that when you learn it, it gets you to a level that you never imagined. And it’s that reimagine what the future could be that we really pride ourselves on being able to help people with.

Mario Fachini [42:01]
I’m so glad you’re out there helping people with this. It’s one of the reasons I started the show, to be honest, is to exponentially elevate the identity of humanity. Because I know we all have talents, gifts, and abilities. And most people, just don’t believe it, for a lack of better term. And when I saw what you were doing, I was like, “Absolutely”. So thank you for what you do.

Hilary DeCesare [42:29]
Thank you. I so appreciate it.

Mario Fachini [42:32]
We have a one more question for the Wheel of Whatever. And this thing always ends up where it needs to be on the question. See that question right there, that’s the one that it’s going to end up on. And for you, who was someone anyone in the world would recognize that you believe you could help them and it’s clear they need help?

Hilary DeCesare [43:03]
Okay. I don’t know you well enough yet.

Mario Fachini [43:09]
You can say whatever you want.

Hilary DeCesare [43:10]
I’m sure there might be a few things that I can assist with. And then I would say it would be –

Mario Fachini [43:19]
Oh, you were going to pick me? Okay. Yeah. Let’s not do that. But if you want to, I mean – I was originally going to say, like a CEO, a politician, a celebrity. But I’m like, “No. I’m just going to keep this real broad.” Like, anyone in the world that clearly needs help. But I mean, I’ll admit, I do need to help in a lot of things but I wasn’t expecting that.

Hilary DeCesare [43:44]
Oh, come on. We have to have a little Lucy moment here too. So I would say right now it would be – can we say Trump?

Mario Fachini [43:59]
You can say whatever you want.

Hilary DeCesare [44:00]
That would be a big one. And I think I could do an amazing job with him. I’m not sure he’d be open to it, but, man –

Mario Fachini [44:10]
What are some things you noticed that could be enhanced or improved with his personality?

Hilary DeCesare [44:18]
Okay. Let’s keep this simple. And I would say starting out, I would do an immediate reset. An immediate reset. It would be a very big, “Let’s figure out, let’s not be overly – let’s get out of the past because there’s nothing we can do there. And what can we do in the immediate future to get you back on track?”

Mario Fachini [44:44]
Well, that is a good starting point. And I appreciate the honesty. I had no idea who you were going to pick. I was honestly leaning towards some celebrities, or authors or something.

Hilary DeCesare [44:55]
And I thought, you know, Jennifer Aniston. I could truly help her with her relationships. I was thinking about her. And then I thought, you know, there’s so many different ways I could get here. And, you know, like I said, at the very beginning, everybody’s going through ReLaunch. Everybody. It’s just how much do you want to advance through the ReLaunch? Where do you want to go? What is that quality of life that you want? And I don’t believe in going for just mediocre. Like, let’s go for absolutely the best life you can have. I mean, you only live once and let’s reach for the stars.

Mario Fachini [45:35]
I love that. And honestly, thank you for the honesty and just sharing and pouring out into Expert Authority World. Because it’s what I want, I want to bring the truth to the world and let them know the truth. So thank you.

Hilary DeCesare [45:51]
You’re doing such a great job.

Mario Fachini [45:53]
Thank you. I appreciate that. We’re going to thank our sponsor and come back for the Imperfect Action Around.

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Mario Fachini [47:31]
And we are back with the Imperfect Action Round. Hilary, are you ready to take imperfect action? What is the fastest path to the profits?

Hilary DeCesare [47:43]
Be very definitive on where you want to go. And make sure you understand how you need to be showing up and the feelings associated with the outcome, not the outcome itself.

Mario Fachini [48:02]
Excellent. Number two, what is the biggest problem you see your prospects making and the fastest way they can fix it?

Hilary DeCesare [48:09]
That they try to relaunch themselves without a process and they keep repeating the same mistakes.

Mario Fachini [48:21]
Excellent. And I totally can relate to that. Everyone has a blind spot just like on a car, and you can’t see what you can’t see. So how can you fix what you can’t see?

Hilary DeCesare [48:32]
And you will continue. Your brain is wired to keep repeating the habits that you have developed, 95 percent of what you do is your habit, and so no wonder the same things keep showing up.

Mario Fachini [48:50]
I loved earlier you mentioned you’re into the neuroscience. It also fascinates me and I’ve dove into it over the years, it’s fascinating. Number three, what is the best way to maximize customer lifetime value?

Hilary DeCesare [49:07]
Make sure that you understand your ascension path. And when you look at where you’re going to start, clients, I see a lot of people trying to jump in and not follow your own model. Because you get into what somebody else thinks they need. When I go back to following my journey for a client, there’s success. When I try to circumvent, and maybe I will, maybe we could do it halfway in, it never works out. Follow your process that is successful.

Mario Fachini [49:43]
Excellent. You were mentioning a lot of great authors earlier. What are some books you’d recommend that have made a big difference in your life?

Hilary DeCesare [49:52]
Yeah. There’s so many right now that I’m reading. I would say I like E-myth Revisited. I think that’s a really great one. Florence Scovel Shinn, I think, was her – I just started. I’m so loving it so far. It’s from the early 19, I want to say, 20s. And her philosophy around positive thinking and going places there, it’s really amazing. And I read John Assaraf, The Answer, recently, and I thought that was really good. It was like continuation, I guess, to The Secret that he was a part of. It basically said, “Hey, stop thinking things are just going to happen and start taking action,” which I like. And yeah, those would be somewhere just off the top of my head.

Mario Fachini [50:44]
Excellent. Where can we learn more about you?

Hilary DeCesare [50:47]
Well, you go to our website, the ReLaunchCo.com, the ReLaunchCo.com. And one thing I would strongly suggest if any of this resonated with you, we have a seven day, seven minutes a day, how to get unstuck. And it’s a challenge. I strongly suggest each and every one of you take it. We all have seven minutes that we can give. You know, do it in the morning. And it will just give you your first step towards really having that overall success around moving towards your quality of life.

Mario Fachini [51:28]
Excellent. Well, thank you, Hilary. It was a pleasure. And I’m so glad we got to connect and I know Expert Authority World got a lot out of this.

Hilary DeCesare [51:38]
Me too. Thank you, Mario, for giving me the time and I loved our conversation.

Mario Fachini [51:43]
Well, Expert Authority World, we have another great episode here today. I’ll see you tomorrow. Have a great day. And God bless.

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Mario Fachini [52:26]
Hey, thanks for listening to today’s episode. I hope you got a lot out of it. I know I sure did. If you haven’t done so already, I invite you to subscribe to the show. And also be sure to check out EAInterviews.com for complete show notes, the full interview video experience, links to the resources we mentioned, and more. Have a blessed day and I’ll see you tomorrow.