How to Release Fear, Worry, and Doubt and Become The More Powerful You with International Mindset Coach, NLP Practitioner, Lifelong Motivational Speaker & 10th Degree Blackbelt P.J. Dixon Part 1 on Episode #0040

Intro  [0:00]  

EAInterviews Episode #40 Inspiration, Transformation, Success Stories and the Imperfect Action Round seven days a week. Join Mario Fachini for today’s Expert Authority Effect Interview. 

Mario Fachini  [0:13]  

Welcome expert Authority Nation we got another great episode for you. I’m excited to bring up PJ Dixon from PJ’s Wisdom. Have you ever felt like you’re alone? Have you ever felt like you can’t do something? Have you ever felt like you have a dream and you want to go after it? Well, PJ is the epitome of perseverance. I met him a few years ago at a conference. And I’m telling you I’m very honored and privileged to have him on the show. Because the way he has inspired me personally, I can’t wait for him to inspire you. He has overcome so much. And he’s going to share his story. And he has such a heart. And he is so relationship focused. He is so heart centric, focused. And he’s a really cool guy. I will bring him up right after we thank our sponsor. 

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Mario Fachini  [1:13]  

PJ, it is great to have you here. How are you feeling today?

P.J. Dixon  [1:16]  

Fantastic brother super duper glad to be on the Expert Authority Effect Interviews. Outstanding, and it’s really good to be in your presence again. I miss being with you in person.

Mario Fachini  [1:27]  

As do I, we had some great times. Didn’t we? 

P.J. Dixon  [1:29]  

Absolutely, you had a powerful impact on me. Right from the very first time I met you, you are just a class act all the way through. And I appreciate the influence that you’ve had on me throughout our friendship.

Mario Fachini  [1:40]  

Well, I appreciate what you’ve done for me, because there’s been many times that you may have not even known it when you put something out. And I was watching you and I wasn’t in a good place. And I was just like, I’m going to keep going forward. So thank you.

P.J. Dixon  [1:54]  

Aw thank you, brother. That makes me feel like I’m doing something correct and right, you know. By everybody listening, and by anybody else who might be impacted by this shift that happens in you or anybody else.

Mario Fachini  [2:06]  

You know, and that’s why I’m glad I have you here today because you do such a great job. And you really are heart centric and making a difference in so many lives. What inspired you to start your business what inspired you to get into this? I mean, there’s so many things you could be doing. Why this?

P.J. Dixon  [2:21]  

So you know, I’m a little disabled guy in a wheelchair. So most people may not be able to see. I’m sitting in a wheelchair right now, I’m about four feet tall and I was only expected to live until I was seven. And this year, I turned 50. So I’ve lived 43 years longer than I was supposed to. So I figure either I’ve got something amazing to do, or God’s pissed, I have some karma to work up, which is probably the case. I’m probably in a little bit of trouble. So that aside, like when I was seven, the Muscular Dystrophy Association found me and put me on stage and allowed me to go to fundraising events and talk to the different funders and the different people supporting the Muscular Dystrophy Association. And so I literally was raised on TV and raised on stage and raised in front of boardrooms and raised at fundraising events and raised on radio programs. And so I was constantly, probably three times a month, I was out speaking somewhere at least. And so that one is a great way for me to live. And then as I grew up into an adult, I wanted to speak but nobody ever said, “Hey, do you know that you can do this professionally?” I didn’t know that I could do. I mean, I knew that I could do it professionally. I just didn’t know how. So it never took any effort until you and I met at a Nick Unsworth event. And Nick was so inspiring to me in that moment. And at the time, I said, I don’t want to be in the same place that I am next year. And so in December of 2014, I decided to get my first business coach. And, you know, now I speak professionally. And now I do international coaching. And that was it. I mean, I just decided that I don’t want to still be working for somebody else, I want to be doing my own thing. And within about five months, exactly. Five months, I quit my job, and I was out on my own. And Dude, this is I’m in a good place man. Like, you know, I’m also shifting my own business. So I got to a point where I was doing so much coaching, that I sort of moved away from the speaking and now I’ve shifted, or even in the past couple of weeks to go back to speaking. Because that’s where my real love is. When I get on stage, Mario, it’s like I can breathe again. And I feel like I literally get on stage. I remember being on the Thrive stage, and Thrive: Make Money, Matters stage. And I stepped out on stage and I took this deep breath. And it was like my mindset on home again, and this is where I belong. I felt like I could breathe. I belong on stage. And that is where I feel the most alive, the most vibrant, the most energetic. So again, this is a form of a stage for me. So I’m just super excited to be here and honored. Honored to be invited by you. Because I think so much of you.

Mario Fachini  [5:05]  

Well, I appreciate that sincerely, but the honor is mine because I know you could be speaking anywhere you want. It’s so inspiring to have you. Thank you for coming on.

P.J. Dixon  [5:14]  

This is where I want to be right now. So we’re perfect.

Mario Fachini  [5:16]  

So you started your business. And you didn’t want to work for someone? How did you get into international coaching and helping people how you do?

P.J. Dixon  [5:25]  

So the thing is that I have my whole life since I’ve been a motivational speaker my whole life like literally, since the age of seven, I’ve been speaking, and people have always come to me. And it didn’t have to be people younger than me, didn’t have to be people my age. Sometimes adults were talking to me when I was like 12 years old, and telling you what was going on in their life. And I would offer perspective and suggestions. And I distinctly remember being in Vegas one time having a conversation with somebody and I forget how old I was, I was fairly young, I think maybe 17 or 19, something like that. I was fairly young. And I remember these people that were probably 35 or 45 years old, saying to me “Wow, I’ve never thought about it like that. That’s an amazing perspective. Thank you.” So I’ve always been there, like my heart has always wanted to share and help people be happier, and find love and be in love, not necessarily in love with other people, but just in love. And so when I went to Nick again, shout out to Nick Unsworth for, you know, helping me to see that I could actually do it. And I went to Nick and he said, “Okay, well, what do you want to do?” And at that time, I thought I wanted to be a spiritual teacher. And I still feel like I really am a spiritual teacher. The thing is that I didn’t know how to explain what I wanted to do. I was like, I want to talk about love. Like I didn’t know that I wanted to be on stage. I mean, I did know that I wanted to speak. But I was seeing myself like in that spiritual guru perspective. And so when I was talking to Nick, and I wasn’t super clear. He said to me, “I’ve got it. I’ve got it. Can you help women get engaged in a year?” And I was like, Yeah, I’ve helped lots of people find their partner. Absolutely. And as an entrepreneur, that’s what you say yes. And then you figure it out, right? So I said yes to coaching. And I was like, I don’t know exactly what I’m going to do for the first four months that I trained with Nick. And the first two or three times that I went to see Nick in San Diego, there were like, I would spend weekends with him. And he would talk and teach and his staff would talk and teach, and other people in the mastermind would talk and teach and I couldn’t understand anything. I didn’t know what they were saying. They’re talking about funnels and lead pages and landing pages. And I was like, I don’t know what any of this is. So I was completely in the dark. But Nick said, you know, he was like, “Can you coach?” And I was like, Yeah, I mean, this is what I’ve been doing. I didn’t even know that there was a coaching world out there. I had no clue there was a coaching world until I met Nick. And all of a sudden, I realized that coaches are really supporting all industries all over the world. Absolutely fascinating. And I just took to it like efficient water, it was just super duper easy for me to sit and listen and find out and listen, with more than just my ears, I would listen with my heart. You can even hear the tone of my voice changed right now. Because I’m dropping into my heart. And when they drop into my heart, I’m listening this significantly more than just my ears. And when I listened with more than my ears, the wisdom comes through me, and helps me to help people identify where their obstacles and roadblocks are and how to get past that. So I often will say, hold on, I’ll close my eyes when I get quiet. And I’ll say Hold on one sec, I wanted to come through me, not from me. And so then I’ll get quiet. And I’ll feel and I’ll see and I’ll just have a knowing. And then I’ll speak the knowing or just trust that knowing. So I still am a spiritual teacher in the manner of speaking. But even as recently as the past couple of weeks, I was like, like I love coaching. And I’m going to continue to coaching to continue to coach, but I don’t want to coach as my primary income, like I want to coach because I love to coach. So even in the past couple of weeks, I was like, I want to speak this is where I need to go back to. When I was on that stage at Thrive: Make Money Matter, everything changed for me because I was like, this is where I belong. I missed stage. And I didn’t realize how much I miss being on big stages. So for me, like it was literally the conversation I had with Nick. And he was supposed to work with me for four hours, like four hours and 45 minutes. And that’s when he got paid to that download. He’s like, oh, what did you do this? I was like, Yes, I could do that. So I mean, that’s how it happened. And look, as a human being, as a business owner, as an entrepreneur, just as a simple human being, we’re going to evolve. So what you decide and choose right now, doesn’t mean it has to be forever and ever. Amen. It could change in two months, or three months or six months or six years. Right? What matters is are you listening to what’s in your heart and your soul in your mind and your body right now. And in that moment, I was listening to what worked for me in that moment. And now I’m listening to this shift that says it’s time for you to be on stage as you can. And it’s time for you to be doing your own events again. It’s time for your events to be International. And I’m like, Okay, great. I’m ready. Let’s take that next step. Will I stop coaching? No, I love it. I want to help one on one. But I also recognize that I’m built for bigger and I’m built for more. And it’s really important for me that my messages are shared globally and not just with one person.

Mario Fachini  [10:42]  

I feel like I want to just shut this off and sit back and be like keep going and take some notes myself. That’s powerful! 

Mario Fachini  [10:48]  

Blonde or Brunette?

P.J. Dixon  [10:48]  

Thank you I can. Like Dude, just set me free! Let let the lease go. And I can lead and run this interview, this conversation because that’s what I do. I’m born to talk. I’m born to share what’s coming through me. I’m born to share what wisdom is there and present for the listeners. So many people live in fear. So many people live in scarcity. And I’m not above that, I experienced fear and scarcity sometimes too. But the difference is I’m not paralyzed by it. Right. So many people don’t know what to do when they get stuck. And I don’t know how. And I don’t know what, and I don’t know where and I don’t know. And I don’t know, and I don’t know, and I’m afraid and I’m nervous, and I’m worried and what about take action. Literally, we can refine what you’re doing later. Let’s get in motion. That’s how you make a change. When I get ready to jump out of a plane or indoor skydiving or aqua jet packing or climbing in the Grand Canyon, right? Whatever it is and I’m literally a physically disabled Dude, I’m like 75, 80 pounds, maybe I have a crazy curvature in my spine so much that if I’m not hooked to the back of my wheelchair like I am right now with my shoulder blades holding my back straight or relatively straight, my my back sags and I dropped for my belly button touches the seat between my legs that I’m sitting on. And I’m super super skinny, I can’t lift my arms, but I still do all these crazy things. Why? Because I want to live, I want to be vibrant. And I want I believe that we’re born, to enjoy our lives, to smell the smell, to smell the flowers, to taste the amazing flavors, to see the beautiful sights, to be inspired to have tingles up our spine, to have that opportunity to be excited about something, to be sentimental, to cry with a friend, right? We’re here to experience life and it’s juicy deliciousness. And what I do the scary things, even if it’s so scary as to pick up the phone and call and say, Hey, I’d love to get on your stage and speak or if it’s jumping out of a plane, whatever it might be scaring me in that moment. That’s when I take a breath. And I can shift in my brain, I literally can shift in my brain the fear, I will move it to another part of my brain, I will compartmentalize it, I will basically quarantine it so that I can think and act and move and take action, despite that little bit of fear that was in the way before, because now it’s not in the way. And I mean, there’s all kinds of techniques that I use, right? Like, for example, this is this is a fun technique that I just taught one of my clients recently, let’s say that there’s a gentleman who is in a restaurant and he sees this attractive woman across the way, and he wants to speak to her but there’s a little bit…

P.J. Dixon  [13:30]  

Ha-Ha. Whichever you prefer my friend, how about Asian? So…Ha-Ha…So all of a sudden, there’s this feeling inside of him, right? And there’s a little bit of confusion. They’re excited, they’re nervous, they want to talk to that person, there’s a sense of confidence, there’s a sense of fear, there’s sense of worry. So I say, just like if you’ve got a handful of dice, throw out on the table in front of like in your own mind right, throughout on the table all of the emotions that you had looked at all those emotions, excitement and confidence, pride, courage, and then look at the other ones; fear, nervousness, worry, okay, if you’re never just worried, reach out, like in your mind. Because if you do this, like while you’re sitting at the table with your friends, or be like what are you grabbing for, there’s nothing there. So in your mind, reach out and grab that fear, nervousness, worry, and the doubt, pull those in. And like, put them like with your hands under the table. maybe think about pulling them in and crunching them down, squeezing them all together, right and then just throwing them over your shoulder, throwing them behind, or dropping them on the floor and kicking them with your heal and allow them to roll behind you. And then rub your hands together like you’re rubbing some dirt on it. And then what you have in front of you is the confidence, courage, the pride, the joy, the excitement, and then breathe into those, or breathe those up and let them come back into your body and stand up with that confidence and that joy and that pride and that excitement, and walk over and talk to that girl. Don’t wait. There’s something I teach called power decision action, right? Power decision action. So get in power, get in your power because no good decision has ever been made from a state of disempowerment. In fact, when people are disempowered, they don’t feel like they can make a decision. They’re like, Oh, I don’t know which should I do this, they ask for all kinds of help. So when we get in a state of power, and that power can be alignment, the power can be just like, I’m just coming out of meditation, that power can be, I just came out of the gym and I feel, you know, pumped up, that power can be confidence, that power can be a stillness. And then immediately when you say, Okay, what do I want to do? What’s the next action? What decision do I need to make? What is the next thing on my list, you’ll hear it, you’ll feel you’ll know it, you’ll see it. Right? The moment there’s that knowing inside of you, get up and immediately take action. Don’t wait for the moment that decision was made. So in the case of that gentleman looking at the lady across the restaurant, and he sees this lady, he throws out the fear and the worry and the doubt. Right? And instead he then breathe in the confidence and the courage and the excitement and the joy and enthusiasm. And then he stands up after he breathes it in.  All right, he stands up. And then he walks over there. That almost never happens. First of all, right. And I know this is more of a business thing. But I’m just using a technique to talk about how we get over fear, right, a strategy that I use with my clients and with myself, right? So immediately take that action. And what happens is, when people are that level of confidence, when people go, “Oh, you’re attractive” or “Oh, actually, you’re somebody I want to talk to.” If they if they have that level of ability to make a decision decisively. And they get up and walk over there, they’re walking over that decisiveness, is the decisiveness of a confident person. And so when you move with that level of confidence, because you’ve kicked or thrown out all of that fear, worry, nervousness and doubt, what’s left? Power, enthusiasm, confidence, excitement, joy, presence, presence, right? This is so important. There’s a difference between being present, being present is limiting. But being in the presence is liberating. So if you’re present, you’re aware of your five senses and the emotions that might be inside of you. And even more senses, depending on how you want to break that down. Because some people would consider temperature recognition as a different sense also. So being present, you’re limited by the senses. But when you’re in the presence, there’s an awareness, there’s a confidence, there’s an energy, there’s a love, there’s a joy, there’s a connection, there’s a relevance, there’s an awareness of the unity and the oneness. So when you move with this power, moving with this power, changed everything. Einstein said this, Einstein said, “Nothing changes until something moves, nothing changes until something moves.” And he’s absolutely right from the physical world. But I like to come from the spiritual world. And I like to say nothing changes until you become still, deeply and profoundly still. And then Mario, everything changes. Why? Because the fear is not there anymore. The stillness is there, and in this stillness is confidence, and its stillness, there’s no fear, and in stillness, there is awareness and in the stillness, there’s unity, oneness, not separation, fear capitalizes on our awareness of separation. Love, unifies and creates an awareness of oneness. In fact, my definition of love is the willing exchange of oneself for oneness, the willing exchange of oneself for oneness.

Mario Fachini  [18:48]  

Wow, that’s powerful. And I want you to not elaborate, I think the word would be expand, because when you were saying breathe, I think that’s a magical word. Not enough people do it, and not enough people do it right. And very few people, why don’t say very few people, but I think more people should meditate and have the benefits of that. So are you open to taking us through a one to two minute exercise on helping with the breathing, because when you were just talking about it, and I’m trying not to knock the mic and all this stuff around the room here, but I literally wanted to just like, grab some dice and start throwing stuff around, you know, like, stuff like that. But I totally was visualizing it. And I want it. I mean, I’m sure everyone else will want to, but I would like to myself, so. 

P.J. Dixon  [19:41]  

So absolutely. I would love to do this. Absolutely. 100{d1d47f886dfada3fbec120c845cf21cbf2de07a46032aee93c7c36510b4a5e81}. So in fact, you would ask if I would do if I would take you through one or two minute exercise on meditation. But it sounds to me like you’re interested in me taking you through a one to two minute exercise on releasing fear, worry and doubt or because… 

Mario Fachini  [19:59]  

I said that? 

P.J. Dixon  [20:01]  

Well, that’s not what you said. But when you started talking about throwing the dice. Right? That’s what I was… 

Mario Fachini  [20:06]  

Holy smokes. I guess I just signed up for this. But if we can, if we can walk over crushed glass of break boards, why not? 

P.J. Dixon  [20:16]  

Well, I mean, it’s super simple, like I will, I’ll take you through both. I’ll combine them. How about that?

Mario Fachini  [20:21]  

Sounds good. 

P.J. Dixon  [20:22]  

Okay. Well, just begin to breathe. Let’s start here. Breathe in through your nose. And then pause for a brief moment. And then exhale. And as you exhale, allow your explanation to be longer and slower than inhalation and allow it to be a complete exhalation. So you exhale all the air and pause briefly. Then inhale again through your nose. pausing briefly again, and exhaling that longer explanation, preferably three, and mouth and nose is fine. Exhaling little bit longer, and then pause and then follow that rhythm. It’s the rhythm and the long exhalation that creates this ability for you to be in the presence. So as you breathe in, you pause. And then as you exhale, it’s an elongated exhalation that really allows you to exhale fully and completely. And now, as you’re doing that continue to breathe in such a way that you may not have the same experiences I just spoke of like a moment ago. So find something in your life that you typically up to this point, been nervous or worried about, or scared about. And if there’s something that’s coming up for you, see, if you can throw out all the emotions around that, explore all of the emotions around that, throw them out on the table, like dice, or see a chart, like a bar chart, go pop up in your mind. So you might see dice. And as you throw these dice out, you might see different emotions, there might be fear, there might be pains, there might be nervousness, there might be worried. Or if you’re also aware of the positives, you might also feel excitement and enthusiasm, curiosity, wonder, right? And you might see these on a bar chart, or you might see these as dice. So now reach out physically actually, since it’s just us, physically reach out and grab those dice, or physically reach out and grab. So if you’re physically doing with dice, physically reach out, grab the dice that you no longer want to feel; the fear, the worry, the nervousness, the doubt, and start to bring those all together and clump them together as if they’re clay. And you can mash them all together. If you’re doing with a bar chart in front of you reach up on the bar chart with your hands physically, and shrink down from top to bottom, the bars of fear and nervousness, worry, doubt, any of the negative emotions that you don’t want. And as you shrink them down between your thumb your first thing your or between your whole hands between both of your hands, all I want you to do is squeeze them down as much as you can. And literally, I see that you have something in your hand, which is great. And throw those emotions over your shoulder. Just literally physically toss those emotions, as if you’re actually holding something in your hand. Mario’s actually holding something in his hand. But if the people who are listening and they’re not holding anything, throw over your shoulder, those emotions just literally throw away the fear, the worry, the nervousness, the doubt. Perfect, perfect. Now keeping your eyes closed, and continue to breathe in through your nose, pause and exhaling through your mouth. Now reach out and feel those dice of the positive emotions, the joy, the enthusiasm, the excitement, the opportunity, the encouraging feelings, whatever the positive emotions are that you’re feeling, and every time you breathe in, watch them come closer and closer to your heart, closer and closer to your chest. Every time you exhale, watch them grow and get bigger. So you can breathe them into your chest and in your heart and in your body. And every time you exhale, they’re going to get bigger. And so they’re going to fill your body, you’re going to be filled with that confidence, you’re going to be filled with that joy, you’re going to be filled with that enthusiasm. And if you’re playing with the bar chart in front of you, with your hands, reach up and make the bars wider, pull them forward and make them three dimensional. Play with them. And if there’s 60, or 70, or 80{d1d47f886dfada3fbec120c845cf21cbf2de07a46032aee93c7c36510b4a5e81}, make them go up five or 10{d1d47f886dfada3fbec120c845cf21cbf2de07a46032aee93c7c36510b4a5e81}. So expand them make them get bigger, make them get taller, and make them get thicker, make them get more three dimensional. And as you do this, you breathe those bars into your chest and your heart and into your body also. And then when you exhale, they get bigger, they get heavier they get fuller. So you’ve more filled with the competence, you get more filled with the joy, you get more filled with the enthusiasm. Fill them in your body literally identify where do you physically feel it? Are they in your chest or the upper part of your chest or the lower part of your chest right in the center of your chest? Are they expanding? Are they in your tummy? Are they in your mind, then your brain? Where do you see them and where you feel them and really integrate those feelings integrating your physical body. And as you feel them integrated in your physical body, breathe in to help them integrate even more. When you exhale, allow them to flow to your extremities allow them to flow to your arms and your legs and your head. Allow them to flow to the front of your chest and your back. And every time you inhale let them integrate more and more into your physical being. More and more into your mind, more and more into your throat, in your in your mouth, your voice box, more and more into your eyes more and more into your heart, more and more into your stomach every time you inhale, they integrate. And every time you exhale, they expand, they get bigger, they spread out more and more in your body. Now take three breaths of integrating and exhaling and allow them to really solidify and be you. Allow them to become you, allow that confidence to become you, allow that joy to become you ,allow that humor to become you, allow that presence become you after your third breath, open your eyes.

Mario Fachini  [26:26]  

Whoa!

P.J. Dixon  [26:29]  

How was that? How was that?

Mario Fachini  [26:30]  

Gosh!

P.J. Dixon  [26:34]  

How was that we threw away the negative feelings? What are you picturing or feeling yourself? And then were you able to see those, the dice on the table, for example, on the negative emotions? How was that for you?

Mario Fachini  [26:48]  

So, straight up, I was thinking about money. 

P.J. Dixon  [26:53]  

Okay, perfect, perfect. 

Mario Fachini  [26:56]  

And you know, a large part of the business…

P.J. Dixon  [26:59]  

Absolutely.

Mario Fachini  [27:01]  

And the attachment from the past and what I was told growing up versus what I know to be true now and have experienced.

P.J. Dixon  [27:10]  

Yes.

Mario Fachini  [27:12]  

But you’re always fighting it. And I really don’t like it. Because I’ve been on both sides of it. And one of them was drastically better and it doesn’t change you. And it was like dark and angry. And I’m going to have to go back and see if I can hear anything or see anything. That’s why I could feel it. 

P.J. Dixon  [27:30]  

Yes. 

Mario Fachini  [27:30]  

And I heard you say I see you gripping something and I just wanted to rip its frickin head off. And thankfully, I had a cord on the desk here, so that’s good. But the second I got rid of it, everything went… And it was like a kaleidoscope. Just all these lights and all the good stuff I’ve experienced, like when we’re in San Diego, and friends and family members, people I care about and all the stuff I’ve been dreaming about doing that’s on my reality list, not just a dream list. I started seeing me doing it this year. 

P.J. Dixon  [28:07]  

YES!

Mario Fachini  [28:08]  

More than I ever have in it. It literally did not stop. And one of the thoughts I had was, I hope to God, he ells me when to open my eyes because I’m going to do this and I’m committing to it. 

P.J. Dixon  [28:21]  

Yes. 

Mario Fachini  [28:23]  

But thank you for telling me when to open, it was going like crazy. Everyone I’ve thought about, everyone I’ve put on the list to have on the show to showcase how awesome you are like you, just started coming to me and I saw them and then in the studio and here’s one I’ll share. I want to do this live from the boat from the middle of the lake or ocean.  

P.J. Dixon  [28:45]  

YES! Me too. I love that. Yes.

Mario Fachini  [28:47]  

Oceancast, Ocean-Cast, Lake-Cast. 

P.J. Dixon  [28:51]  

Yes.

Mario Fachini  [28:51]  

I mean, whatever that’s for. There’s nothing stopping us. There’s all these possibilities. and…I don’t even want to ask the question about how have you transformed, you know, what’s been your biggest success story, and then I’ll let you get into it. But whatever it was before, I think we just had a new one with me personally, and I thank you.

P.J. Dixon  [29:14]  

My pleasure, brother. And so it’s this idea that we’re working with the nervous system and the body and the emotional body and the brain. And so when we throw that over our shoulder, or we drop it and kick it behind us, we rub our hands so it’s not connected to us anymore. Right? Whatever we’re doing to release it, the mind goes, “Yes, I’m free. I can be free I can expand and grow in the way I want to. We are born to evolve we are born to express.” Can I tell you another story real quick? 

Mario Fachini  [29:43]  

Go for it. 

P.J. Dixon  [29:44]  

Okay, so I like to jump out of planes, indoor skydiving, aqua jet packing, I trained in martial arts. I’ve trained for almost 30 years now. And I teach for, I probably taught 21 years. And so I love all of these kinds of physical things. Even though I physically can’t move, I can lift my shoulders as you can see, but it can’t like lift my arms. So I still find a way to do all of these amazing things. So I decided that I wanted to go indoor skydiving, which I’d wanted to do for a really long time. And indoor skydiving, if you don’t know it’s a wind tunnel. It’s literally like a vertical tube that has four plane jet engines above you. And underneath you like you walk out on the screen and below you is 25 to 40 feet down, that opens up to the outside. And it sucks in those jet engine suck air up and through that tube. And it forces, it creates this pressure that blows you up. So it feels like the jet engines are below you blowing you up. But they’re actually above you sucking the air up and through. So when these guys brought me in and picture this, they didn’t know what was going to happen with my body. Right? So they taped my ankles together, they put like a paper towel tube, you know, like if you unrolled the full paper towel and there’s just the cardboard tube in the middle, they put this cardboard to between my knees and take that to my knees. So my knees were open. So my ankles are are closed, my knees are open, then they taped my hands, duct tape my hands to my waste. So I look like my hands on my hips. My elbows are sticking out to the side like chicken wings. Ok. And then they say they’re going to walk me in because I’ve never done indoor skydiving before. And they didn’t know what was going to happen to my body because I’ve got this crazy curvature in my spine. And you know, so they brought me in and they said, we’re going to bring you and we’re going to put your face down on the net. We’re going to see what your body does before we let you come up. And I’m like, Okay, cool. No worries, that sounds great. So as they walk me in, everything is fine. And then when they put me down on the net, I can’t breathe, I can’t exhale. Because the air that’s coming in, is coming in with such a velocity in such intensity that I can’t exhale. I’ve jumped out of planes before. So I know, but I can’t breathe in that particular case, but I couldn’t breathe. Now, I didn’t know Mario, that you can suffocate, if you can’t exhale. And so this is really important for people to recognize that you can suffocate when you can’t exhale, when you can’t express yourself. And so I’m telling these guys, I’m trying to talk. But even if I could exhale to talk, they couldn’t hear me because they have earbuds in, they have helmets on and there’s four jet engines above us. Right? And they’re behind an actual mask, they actually have a screen on their helmet, that’s actually a screen. So they can hear me and I’m trying to say, get me up, you have to get me up. You have to get me up in the air. I can’t breathe, and they can’t hear me. Because first of all, I can’t express, I can’t let anything, nothing is coming out. So there’s no voice, I’m just saying…(muffled sound) Right? And they’re like, what, what? And I’m like, if you’re like just listening to this audio, I’m mouthing the words get me up, get me up, meaning you have to get me off this net. You have to get me in the air again, like you had me when you carried me in. Because I could breathe like that. And I was literally starting to black out just at the moment they started to lift me. And as they started to lift me, I was able to breathe again. It was as if the door, the entryway let out just enough pressure that I was able to move. So listen, this is the important point of the story. The moment that I was able to express, then I was able to breathe. And I was able to fly, the moment that the pressure was released. Right? And so we live by so much pressure, so much obligation, so much requirement, so much debt, so much have to, and when we live by that, it’s as if we’re being pushed on, and we can’t express, we can’t express who we are naturally. So the moment I was lifted up and there was that little bit of space that was created, all of a sudden, I could exhale. All of a sudden I could breathe, all of a sudden they could express, the moment that I can exhale, they lifted me up, and I could exhale, I was also able to fly. It’s the same way, with each and every person out there that might be listening to this. If you are living in a state and a presence and a place in your life right now, where you feel crushing dead, we feel obligation, where you feel like other people have control of your life, you can’t express or at least you believe that you can’t express, you get to find a way to create some distance, some space, get something off of your obligation plate, find some distance between the people or the situations are the events that you feel are oppressing you and recognize that you’re making the decisions to allow this to happen to you. So when you start to move away from that, you create space. When you create that space, all of a sudden, you can breathe. You can exhale, you can express and when you can express, you’ll begin to fly. I promise. 

Mario Fachini  [35:00]  

That’s powerful. 

P.J. Dixon  [35:01]  

Thanks, man.

Mario Fachini  [35:02]  

 I definitely know where you got the name PJ’s Wisdom from.

P.J. Dixon  [35:06]  

I didn’t come up with it. I was with a bunch of my friends and they’re like helping me build my website years ago, like 2005. And I was like, I don’t know, what should I call it? They said, let’s call it PJs Wisdom. And I was like, Okay, I guess that’s good enough for now. And here we are 2019, PJs Wisdom. And funny when I was a boy, people would say, “You should be a teacher, you should be a teacher, you should be a teacher.” And in my mind, I would say, Yeah, but not that kind of teacher. I mean I didn’t want to teach math or science or English. But I knew that I wanted to be a spiritual teacher. Even as a little boy, I would talk about spirituality. But I didn’t know how to put it in words. When I was a kid I didn’t know what it meant. I just knew that I wanted to be so recognized around the world, that if something needed to be done, we could use my face and my influence to make the world a better place.

Mario Fachini  [35:56]  

Well, I’m glad you wanted to do that. Because you like I said before, you’ve definitely impacted my life. And even now, I was excited to have you on, but holy smokes. So…

P.J. Dixon  [36:06]  

Thanks brother, I appreciate it. I think you’re very kind.

Mario Fachini  [36:09]  

My pleasure. 

Mario Fachini  [36:10]  

So you’re talking about having that crushing feeling, you know, with your clients with your business with all the pressures of this, that, the other thing? What would you say is probably the number one thing you come across where people, you know, what do they encounter in their business that holds them back, would you say?

P.J. Dixon  [36:30]  

The biggest thing is people don’t know “HOW” and so they don’t take action. “Well, I don’t know how to do that.” Right? “I don’t know exactly what I want.” So they don’t take any action, right? In the limbic system, we talked about the fight or flight response. But the thing is, the limbic system has really four responses, It’s: fight, flight, freeze or, feigning death. Freezing is what most people do in this particular case, right? In their business, if they don’t know how, they don’t take any action. If they don’t know what exactly they want to do, they don’t take any action. They freeze. “Well, I gotta figure this out, I gotta figure this out. I’m going to talk to a bunch of people.” When you become an entrepreneur, especially a young budding entrepreneur, brand new. What often happens is, if you’ve worked for: 5, 10, 20, years of your life, you ask your boss, “Hey, boss, is it okay if I do this?” When you become a young, budding entrepreneur, you are your own boss. But the problem is, most people think, like, “I don’t know how I’m going to do this. I don’t know what exactly I’m supposed to do it. I don’t know, like how to do it.” And so they start asking other people, they start asking other people, what do you think, should I do this, they’re still looking for a boss. There’s still looking for somebody to give them the approval to take the next step, they’re still looking for that opportunity to decide for themselves, right? Or to actually take action, but they’re looking for somebody outside of them to make that decision. Don’t do that. Get in motion that 80/20 principle, right? The 80/20. Pareto’s law. Pareto’s Principle, Pareto’s law? Pareto’s principle, I think. But anyway, Pareto’s law, I think it’s called. So it’s the 80/20 principle, which is 80{d1d47f886dfada3fbec120c845cf21cbf2de07a46032aee93c7c36510b4a5e81} of your success comes from 20{d1d47f886dfada3fbec120c845cf21cbf2de07a46032aee93c7c36510b4a5e81} of the input. Now, it’s not always at 20, it’s not always a perfect match right there. It can be 90{d1d47f886dfada3fbec120c845cf21cbf2de07a46032aee93c7c36510b4a5e81} of the good things in your life are coming from 3{d1d47f886dfada3fbec120c845cf21cbf2de07a46032aee93c7c36510b4a5e81} of the input, right. Maybe you have an amazing, amazing relationship and it’s coming from one partner, and your life is so filled with so much laughter and joy and love and excitement and adventure, and romance, because of one person, not because of all of these other people. But there’s so much amazing things going on in life. And also, simultaneously, it can be flipped, where 80{d1d47f886dfada3fbec120c845cf21cbf2de07a46032aee93c7c36510b4a5e81} of the negative is usually coming from a minority also. So if you look at this, like, “I don’t know how to do it.” That I don’t know, how is a minor thing, let’s get you in motion. And we can figure out how later, let’s get it 80{d1d47f886dfada3fbec120c845cf21cbf2de07a46032aee93c7c36510b4a5e81}, right, which is a slightly different at 20 that I’m talking about. But let’s get an 80{d1d47f886dfada3fbec120c845cf21cbf2de07a46032aee93c7c36510b4a5e81} right, and then we can worry about the other 20{d1d47f886dfada3fbec120c845cf21cbf2de07a46032aee93c7c36510b4a5e81} later, get in motion. Even if you’re doing the wrong thing, do the wrong thing. So that you can go well, this doesn’t work. Let me refine now that I’m in motion I can refine, but if I’m not in motion, there’s nothing to refine. Right? Again, with my disability, if I’m in martial arts, if I’m in class, and have one of my students punch me or kick me, or if somebody I have never trained with before, and they, you know, like let’s say I’m at an event and people go, you can really do martial arts. And I say, Yeah, come up, and I’ll show you and somebody will come up on stage, for example, and I’ll say, go ahead and punch me and they’re like, like, punch you. I’m like, Yeah, like, Here, you can even grab my shirt if you want, so I can’t get away, right, so grab my lapel, and punch me, they’ll like do this real slow, like, awkward, weird punch, like, it’s not a real punch, you know, I mean, it’s like, they just straighten their arm. It’s not like there’s no energy, there’s no life to it. But if I would bring up one of my students, and they would actually put some life into it, they would actually punch me, now I have something to work with. Now we can refine what they’re doing. Now I can change their movement. Now I can capitalize on the the energy that they’re bringing. You can’t refine and change something if you’re not in action, get an action, don’t worry about the how or the why. One of my very, very, very good friends, he is so intelligent. But he’s so intelligent to a detriment, he is so intelligent to a detriment that he can’t take action until his brain is processed all the possible actions that need to be taken, and probabilities and possibilities and errors and corrections for the next five to 10 years. So he gets stuck in his own thinking he gets paralyzed by the “What if?” and the “How’s”, and “How am I going to handle that? Let’s just get in motion. And once you get in motion, we can refine and fix it. Because in motion means energy. Energy means now we can shape it, we can do something with it. But we can’t just do something with thought. And if you’re not sure what or how you may not take any action, and it’s that fight flight or freeze. And freezing is the worst thing for an entrepreneur. And in fact, freezing is the worst thing for a relationship. Sometimes it can help, stop, don’t argue, right, freeze in the moment, rethink. But usually freezing is only because there’s danger. If you look at that little bunny, watch any nature show, right? And you see little tiny bunny chewing the grass or whatever. And then all of a sudden, you know the narrator is like, and along comes a bobcat. And the little jack rabbit does not know the bobcat is sneaking up on it. And then notice how the rabbit see’s the bobcat and stops moving. Right? So all of a sudden the rabbit goes freeze! “Maybe the bobcat didn’t see me. So I’m not going to move, I’m not gonna move, I’m not gonna move.” And I personally have experienced with this. I’ve literally walked up on a bobcat. And I was like EEK! this is a bad idea. Right? Literally the rabbit will freeze. And then when it realizes Ugh-Oh, the bobcat has seen me then he’ll take off. Because the rabbit isn’t going to fight the bobcat. It’s going to flee. It’s going to flight it’s going to run. So we gotta get you in motion. Right? If you’re asking me, what’s the biggest thing that the people that come to me that have businesses run into?It’s not knowing “HOW?” and not knowing “WHAT?” so they take zero action. That will kill them. That will kill their business faster than making a mistake. Make a mistake, and then make it right. Make a decision. Again, quoting Nick Unsworth, make a decision and then make it right.

Mario Fachini  [42:37]  

Now on the opposite side of freezing and not taking action. 

P.J. Dixon  [42:41]  

Yes. 

Mario Fachini  [42:41]  

Obviously, you can take people through a transformation and have massive breakthroughs. What is one of your biggest success stories to date, that someone was in a bad place, they came to you. And now they’re not let’s say.

P.J. Dixon  [42:54]  

I love this. I’ve used this example in other podcasts. But I’ve never had anybody asked me that question. I’m trained in NLP: Neuro-Linguistic Programming. And so I use NLP with my clients a lot. And I have used it for probably three and a half years now. And it is absolutely amazing. What will take a therapist 12 to 15 years to help somebody get through, will take a skilled NLP person, maybe 12 to 15 minutes. So I had one of my clients who was in the military. And at the time he was in the military. And he had been in Afghanistan, he had been in other war zones. And he happened to be out at this point in time when I had him. He was in the reserves. So he’d gone to his two week summer activity and do summer deployment. And he was there. And he was watching the guys leave their weapons on the ground, and not do what he was telling them to do. And he started to like, have flashbacks, which he hadn’t had in a really long time of being in the war zone. And he couldn’t discipline them for whatever reason, his commanding officers were not allowing him the discipline as their commanding officer. And they’re like, you can’t do that, you can’t do this, all of the options that he had to discipline them and to teach them, he kept getting his hands tied. And so this image would kept replaying and replaying in his head of being on the battlefield and watching people die. Right? And so he literally started having these flashbacks. And so he wound up in a post traumatic stress disorder situation. They sent him home, because he kept telling them, Look, if you do this on the battlefield, you’re going to die, you cannot be separated from your weapon, you need to have it at the ready all of the time. And they were like, whatever dude, like they had no clue what real war was like. And he wanted to be a medic. And he was actually training to be a medic, and had used his medic skill set on the battlefield, and as a medic, you want people to heal, you want people to live, you want people to make it, right? So you’re not out there wanting to like shoot the bad guy. You’re the guy who wants to make sure everybody lives. And he was really, really struggling with being able to shut that off. So they sent him home about a week and a half early. And they had told him that like, you’re literally going to have to go to two different therapists, psychologists, we’re not sure how long it’s going to take you. But they were literally getting him ready. And I said no. And he had called me and said, “Hey, you know, I’m back early, I’m experiencing some PTSD. Can we do a call?” And I was like, absolutely. So we get on a call. And he’s telling me this whole story. And I said, No, No, you don’t. He’s like, “What do you mean? What do you mean no, I don’t?” I was like, you’re not going to have to see any therapist. We’re going to take care of it right now. He’s like, “No, no, I have PTSD.” They’re telling me I’m gonna have to see at least two therapists, two psychologists and they want to start me next week. And I was like, No, you won’t have to, you’re fine. I’m going to help you get rid of it right now. He’s like, “What do you mean, you can do that?” I was like, Yes, we can do that. So in about 15 minutes, we completely removed his PTSD. And he had not been out of the house in I think a week because he took about a week to call me, right. And I was like, Oh, you’re home early. It’s like, well, I’ve been home for about a week, hadn’t been out of the house in a week, hadn’t driven his car. And I was like, Okay, he’s like, literally in the middle of it. He started laughing. He started laughing. Because the technique that we were using, and he’s like, this is amazing. So I kept taking you through it because I wanted to make sure we really cleaned it out. And I was like, Okay, good. He’s like, “I feel amazing. I feel free. I feel light, I feel like I haven’t felt in a really long time.” I was like, okay, go outside, go outside. And I was like, yeah, go outside. And he walked outside. And he walked around the corner of the buildings. He walked in and out of cars, you know, and he came back in and he’s like, “Dude, I’m not I’m not worried about like, IUD’s…” or Yeah…

Mario Fachini  [46:57]  

IEDs.

P.J. Dixon  [46:58]  

Yeah, IEDs. Improvised Explosive Devices, right and not IUD’s, you should be worried about those. So and he came back, and he’s like, my flowers out front have bloomed. And he’s like, I feel amazing. I feel so light, I feel so relaxed. 15 minutes to handle PTSD. Now, it may not be the same for everyone with PTSD, it might be a series of a couple 1:1 calls or 1:1 sessions. But PTSD is something that happens because the unconscious mind is: ruinating, ruinating, ruinating, going over, going over, going over that same image over and over and over again. And the conscious mind is out of control. And so that’s where the fear and the anxiety starts to come. Because we feel like we’re not in control anymore. And so I just helped him to regain control. And we shifted what the unconscious mind was doing. And as soon as we did that, all of a sudden, he was set free. And literally every time I talked to him it’s like, I’m like how you feeling he’s like, I feel amazing still, I think can’t believe, he’s like, I didn’t have to go to the psychologist, I feel great. And he actually made a decision to leave the military and go full time to college, so he could become a nurse. And he’s incredibly happy. 

Mario Fachini  [48:12]  

Good for him.

P.J. Dixon  [48:13]  

Yes.

Mario Fachini  [48:13]  

That is an inspirational story, for sure. 

P.J. Dixon  [48:16]  

Thank you. 

Mario Fachini  [48:17]  

And I’m sure you have dozens more like that.

P.J. Dixon  [48:19]  

I’m very, very fortunate. I am very, very fortunate.

Mario Fachini  [48:22]  

So obviously provide the breakthroughs. And you alluded to it a little bit earlier. But it’s not just the 1:1 that you do. What has speaking done for your company? 

P.J. Dixon  [48:35]  

You know what, speaking, I haven’t ever, I’ve literally never marketed and advertised. Speaking on all the podcasts and all the summits and the stages. And just being authentic, and doing the best study came from my one on one clients. And the more people that see me, people just refer me, or they see me on a podcast, or a summit. And then they find a way to reach out to me and they say, Hey, you know, I’d love to be able to talk to you and jump on a call with you. And so I’ll chat with people 20 minutes, 45 minutes, an hour and a half sometimes. And people just sign up with me, they just say I want you to, you know, to coach me, I believe in you, I trust you I feel safe with you. That guy that I just mentioned, he literally signed up with the Tony Robbins organization. And when he talked to me, he called them back and said, I want to get my money back. Because I want to go with somebody else because he felt the connection with me. And it’s because I showed up with this level of authenticity, and I spoke his language. And he liked that. I could speak medical terminology with him. Because that stuff is fascinating to me, too. I could speak military, because some of my teachers have been military. And so that worked for him. And so for me speaking from stages, whether it’s live stages, or podcasts, or summits, because these are all stages, it brings clients to me. And it really for my business more than anything, it gets my message out there of love, of transformation, of you were born to actually live and love your life. Right? Live in love without limits. That’s what I like to say. So when you’re able to live and love without limits, all of a sudden, life becomes so rich for you. And so rich for your friends and family because of the way you show up for them.

Mario Fachini  [50:22]  

So the next part is how has video impacted your business?

P.J. Dixon  [50:29]  

For me video is critical. Because I’m not a writer, I can write so I could do a blog. I do write for positive try magazine right now. It’s not my favorite thing to do. I’m a good writer, I just don’t like to write. I haven’t actually written a full book yet. I’ve got a book started. I did co author a book and co authoring another book right now. But I’m just not a writer. It’s just not my thing. So for me, video is a way of being able to get information out to people share. Gary Vaynerchuk says, he wrote a book called Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook meaning give, give, give, give, and then ask. So for me video, from my end, gives me a great way to distribute content, and share wisdom. And if I look at it differently, we can also look at it in terms of video has allowed me to be able to do summits and podcasts like we’re doing right now, live as well as you know, pre recorded, but also it gives me a chance to be able to look at my clients, because I might be in Tucson, Arizona, and I’ve had clients in France, I’ve had clients in Africa. I’ve had clients in Turkey, I’ve had clients in Singapore, I’ve had clients in Canada. So I’ve had clients all over… England, I’ve had clients all over the world. And because of that the video allows me to actually look at them watch their facial expressions. So when somebody says no, I’m having a great day, and they sort of twitch or, you know, their face like scouts funny, like, what was that? Like? What was what I was like your face just did this weird thing. I’m like, let’s talk more about that. Are you really feeling that? And so the video has allowed a 2-way conversation for people who have never met me before it to see me and go, “You know what? I’d like you and I feel like I can trust you.” We can do it across the phone. Video allows people that are not in the same vicinity to connect we live in a remarkable time right now, where the world is becoming smaller. And that is largely because of technology, video like this and Zoom and Wirecast, or Wirecast, right? Is that right? Yeah, Wirecast, a video like Wirecast, and Skype. These are things that allow us to really connect with other people around the world. And when we are able to connect to those people around the world, the beautiful thing is that the world gets smaller. And we’re able to love more deeply. And were able to make friends around the world. And all of a sudden, the differences that we thought were there, just dissolve. They’re not there. There’s only the sameness. There’s only one, there’s only love. There’s only kindness. There’s only friendship.

Mario Fachini  [53:06]  

Absolutely love it, brother. I appreciate you for sharing this. So PJ has given us his wisdom and we’re just getting warmed up. This is just the first part. So we’re going to thank our sponsor, and I’m going to bring him back for the Imperfect Action Round. He has said this theme the entire time. And we’re going to expand on it in the next part.

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Mario Fachini  [54:42]  

Alright, we are back Expert Authority World and I am excited to announce this is the first time on the new show. I’m going to be doing this: We are going to take this and make it a 2-parter. PJ has been sharing so much great information. There is a ton more. We don’t have enough time to get through it on one episode. So we’re going to transition this, come back tomorrow and you’ll hear part two. Thanks for joining us for part one, and can’t wait to finish this off with you tomorrow on part two. 

SPONSOR – EA Checklist  [55:15]  

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Outro  [57:06]  

Thanks for listening to the episode. I hope you got a lot of value out of it. Let’s continue the conversation over in the community www.ExpertAuthorityWorld.com. We can have discussions, talk about the episodes, and I’d love to get your thoughts on it. Once again, www.ExpertAuthorityWorld.com