Stress & Anger in the Workplace, Controlling It, Before It Controls You with Anutza Bellissimo on Episode #0121

Intro [0:00]

EA Interviews Episode 122. Inspiration, transformation, success stories, and the Imperfect Action Round seven days a week. Join Mario Fachini for today’s Expert Authority Effect Interview. 

Mario Fachini [0:13]

Stress, anger, how would you like to be able to manage it better? Do you realize what it’s doing in your personal life? I know everyone wants life to be roses and unicorns, but sometimes a large portion of the time, it isn’t always that way. What do you do? What do you do when you have personal conflict? What do you do when you have corporate and business conflict? Maybe it’s with a client. Maybe it’s with your own team. How do you handle the stress and anger throughout the day? I am super excited to have an author, speaker, CEO, and trainer, Anutza Bellissimo here today. Because she is going to be talking about what we can do in our daily lives and our business lives to be able to manage the stress and anger better. I’m going to bring her up right after we thank our sponsor. 

SPONSOR Rosh Tips [1:01]

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Mario Fachini [1:16]

Here she is ladies and gentlemen, Miss Anutza Bellissimo. How are you doing, Anutza? 

Anutza Bellissimo [1:22]

Hi, Mario. It is a fun Friday anytime I’m with you. 

Mario Fachini [1:28]

Well, I appreciate that. I’m more excited to hear what you have to say. Because so many people have stress and anger in their life and how do they manage it? I know you have extensive experience with this. How did you even get into it? 

Anutza Bellissimo [1:42]

So here’s the idea, it’s not that stress and anger is the problem. It’s that the coping skills that most people have to manage stress and anger is the problem. And again, it’s Friday night, I’m here with you drinking water and doing what I love to do. So ask me again, “How did you get into this? 

Mario Fachini [2:05]

Please tell me, how did you get into all this? 

Anutza Bellissimo [2:09]

Well, I don’t believe in accidents. I do believe in synchronicity. And it truly was an opportunity a long time ago, well, 2005 approximately. I had already been in private practice for life purpose and career consulting. And one of my mentors suggested that I add anger management to the list of services. And I think you’ve heard this story before. I laughed because the only thing I knew about anger management was the movie. And I didn’t realize that it was a real thing. And yes, I finally found out it was a real thing. And I went to George Anderson, who was actually the consultant for the movie anger management. And we call him or he’s really considered like the grandfather of anger management. And I trained with George. And ever since 2005, around that time October, I started to understand the purpose of what anger management really means. And began educating people on the aspects and the essence of what anger management truly is. Most people don’t know that anger management is an umbrella. It’s considered psychoeducation, not psychotherapy. And it’s made of three specific skill sets, stress management, emotional intelligence, and interpersonal communication skills. Typically, we’re taught, if you’re raised or brought up in a productive healthy environment, you’re taught coping skills, self-soothing, stress manage skills, good conversation, and communication skills, and emotional fitness, or resiliency. But unfortunately, a lot of us are not taught that at home. We’re not taught that in school. And now it’s just beginning to shift in the environment, in our society. But I guess, you know, really, I was coaching and doing anger management before it was cool, so to speak. It’s been a while. 

Mario Fachini [4:28]

And you’ve helped so many people over the years. Who was it you would say you really helped and how are you helping them? 

Anutza Bellissimo [4:40]

Well, honestly, there’s different levels of help, so to speak. An organization will bring in an employee that has reached their capacity tolerance level and they need to be assessed and see if they’re still an asset or a liability to the organization. So that’s an important part of my job. And then addressing the situation accordingly, once we understand the skill set, and the personal objectives of that individual. So you’ve got that type of experience. And then you have a completely opposite but still just as important. The kind of client that I’m helping where there’s a disconnect or a breakdown in communication in and around the relationships at home, whether it’s child and a parent, siblings. Usually it’s husband and wife so I always joke, you know, lightly I say, “So are you boss referred, court referred, or wife referred?”  So they’ll let me know, “Well, my wife thought or my husband thought or my boss is demanding or the courts are requiring to have – 

Mario Fachini [6:01]

So you could have anyone that’s like you’re saying, a court issue. I mean, depending on who you ask, it might be better or worse than your wife referring you. But you also have the corporate side of things. Would you say it’s evenly split or do you gravitate towards one more than the other? 

Anutza Bellissimo [6:18]

At the beginning of my anger management, stress management experience, in my practice it was certainly a lot of corporate clients. And in fact, I started with court orders, group court orders, co-ed in my office in Hermosa Beach. And it was certainly an experience, to put it lightly. And it taught me some of the most profound experiences. And it taught me what it really meant to have emotional intelligence or emotional fitness. To be able to understand someone, not have to put myself in their shoes, from a completely different lifestyle, from a completely different aspect of life that I would never even imagine experiencing to really having empathy and helping them through the process when all they’re wanting to do is get out of pain. And typically, if someone’s court ordered, it’s because they’ve overused alcohol or negative communication and violence or aggressive behavior, things of that nature. So it’s gotten out of control in other words. Not to mention, it could be the same thing at work. But typically, we do our best to be a little more behaved at work. Not all of us [inaudible] [00:07:57]. Then we get to the next level where it’s inside of personal relationship. And that’s when there are very little boundaries. And people really lose control there. So I apologize if I didn’t answer your question directly. But hopefully that makes a little bit of sense. 

Mario Fachini [8:18]

No, you did. You did. And I wanted to ask about the corporate because there’s so many business owners where, you know, obviously, the CEO is always right other than every time he’s not. And then you have the team and the staff. And there’s one of these quotes, I saw where it’s, “You stop asking your team questions, they stop wanting to give you answers.” And there’s that whole leadership – you know, leaders poll where bosses push. And so you can have a problem with the CEO just as much as a bad employee. What would you say is most common and how do you help someone fix it? 

Anutza Bellissimo [8:54]

That’s more about sensitivity training. There’s a different language that we use when it comes to organizational training and the professional development aspect of soft skills. And when we’re in a court or personal setting, it’s typically anger management. When you’re talking about corporate, I don’t – let me just say this, I don’t recommend public humiliation as an order of reprimanding someone. I think it only makes it worse. So I believe that we want to be more sensitive in the professional environment because there’s a stigma and people are very sensitive to it. And they become defensive in their sensitivity. And that shuts down the ability to learn and my ability to train if someone’s not willing to be open to the experience and hear what you’re wanting to share with them in order for them to improve their own life. Does that make sense? 

Mario Fachini [9:56]

It absolutely does. And from strictly speaking on the bottom line, what does that do to a company when people aren’t as effective and they’re not communicating? 

Anutza Bellissimo [10:08]

What does that do to a company? Well, it’s typically addressed in performance plans. Let’s say someone has a problem at work, high stress. Will typically go to HR and look for resources. But if they don’t approach it and it becomes a problem in the workplace, then we look at developing a performance plan for that employee or that business owner. I have a lot of business owners who come to me because they understand the effects that chronic stress has on their ability to perform in the workplace. It affects the psyche. It affects the self-confidence. There’s so many levels that is affecting within their organization, within their communication style. We communicate very differently when we’re in fight or flight versus when we’re in relaxed mode on Friday night, for example. There’s a lot of ego that’s also involved within the process. So it’s important to identify where the individual is at so you can meet them there. And they can feel that you only want to help them. Not just know but feel. In essence, really understand that it’s your objective, my objective, to serve. Not to make them wrong, or punish them, or humiliate them, because that doesn’t serve the process of personal growth and development. 

Mario Fachini [11:36]

So it’s not just necessarily just communicating with the CEO, and the team and the clients, and everything. It could be, everything’s going fine, profits are up, but you’re so stressed. You’re tighter than a firecracker on the Fourth of July. 

Anutza Bellissimo [11:53]

A lot of people use stress. And a lot of people use anger to motivate them in that direction. Yet what happens is it creates burnout. So now you’ve got a double edged sword, chronic stress, anger showing up in your personal life, maybe you’re controlling it at work but everyone can see how tense you are. They can feel your stress. And you can deny it as much as you want to but you wear it. You really do wear it in your persona, on your face. And the best way to notice that is when people don’t open up or communicate with you anymore because they’re afraid. And that affects communication within the organization. Because no one wants to say anything. Whether they feel they’re not going to be heard, or they don’t want to be reprimanded, or they just are afraid to say something in general because they’re not sure when this person might lose control. 

Mario Fachini [12:49]

What would you suggest for someone that’s in that position right now to address it? If they’re working for the company and they want to say something to the boss or if they are the boss. I think this is more common than not because the leader has to always have everything right and nothing can go wrong. What would you say – 

Anutza Bellissimo [13:09]

That’s a leadership issue. Because every leader that is productive within their environment is able to own their own – own their faults, own their mistakes, own their failures. Because that’s part of growth. If you’re not able to show vulnerability as a leader, there’s no way that those around you are going to even consider demonstrating any type of vulnerability by giving you that million dollar idea, by giving you a great resource or referral. It just shuts down so many aspects of productivity and growth within the organization. And that, of course, affects the bottom line. 

Mario Fachini [13:55]

So what I’m hearing in there – and correct me if I’m wrong – is that vulnerability is actually a strength. 

Anutza Bellissimo [14:03]

Correct. Yes. That’s right, it is. And it’s one of the first leadership strengths that I always suggest we look at, what is it that holds you back from demonstrating vulnerability? What are your beliefs around vulnerability? And you know, it’s really interesting because when we talk about that, I think there’s a specific stigma that lies around men and vulnerability. And I have to say that probably 90 percent of my clients are male. And they struggle in the shift between vulnerability and strength and what it means in our culture and our society to demonstrate strength while showing vulnerability. I mean, it’s like an oxymoron, right? The large shrimp. 

Mario Fachini [15:00]

That’s true. Absolutely. 

Anutza Bellissimo [15:01]

Do you know what I mean? But it’s a conditioned response in our culture. And it can be, as my friend, Elizabeth, likes to say, unconditioned. That’s the processes that we’ve created habits and routines that no longer serve us. And we’ve realized that because there’s a lot of rage. There’s a lot of anger. There’s a lot of self-righteousness. People don’t feel heard. They don’t feel cared for. And everyone seems – not everyone – but a lot of places – people, places, and things, businesses, individuals function from fear. “I’m afraid you’re going to take advantage of me. I’m afraid you’re going to take my job. I’m afraid you’re going to lie to me. I’m afraid you’re going to make me a fool.” I mean the list is endless. When you’re functioning from that, especially in particular, competition, when we talk about business, people are afraid, “Oh, my competition.” I have to tell you, I’ve never thought that way. I have never once considered competition. Because I know my strengths and my value. And I understand that there is no other like me just like there’s no other like you. And each and every individual has that unique fingerprint, right? So we all have these filters and these beliefs. But everything that makes us who we are, there’s no competition. There’s not another you. Does that make sense? 

Mario Fachini [16:31]

I love that you’re sharing that. Because I always use the example of scarcity versus abundance mindset. And even if someone does the exact same thing as you, even as good as you do, you have your own twist, your own uniqueness. And the reality is, most people don’t follow up the – I use this all the time, their skills in business might be rock star but the business side of things, there’s people I’m just like, “You would have gotten my business like tens of thousands of dollars had you just called me. Had you shot me an email, even a text or anything.” And it’s like, “Oh, how do I get more clients and leads?” Are you kidding me? Be a better person. You don’t need to amplify the problem. You are the problem. 

Anutza Bellissimo [17:15]

Yes. I have a perfect example of that. I’m so glad you brought that up. Rarely ever do I make time anymore to take one of those – what do we call them? There’s a name. Oh my gosh. It’s like, “Oh, we want to get to know you type of phone call.” 

Mario Fachini [17:41]

Discovery calls. 

Anutza Bellissimo [17:42]

Oh, there you go. There you go. I couldn’t think of it. Yeah. Yeah. And so I made one effort today. And I can’t remember when was the last time I made an effort to do a discovery call with anybody because you – 

Mario Fachini [17:58]

Hold on. Let me pause you right there. Can you start back right after the discovery call. It froze or something. 

Anutza Bellissimo [18:05]

Sure. So what I’m suggesting is that rarely do – I mean, I just don’t make time for discovery calls. And it seems that, for example, on LinkedIn, let’s say, all I’m doing is being hit up by people who want to sell me something. So I don’t subscribe to that. And I really do appreciate the networking and someone who takes time to let me know about them. And so I got on this call today. And I would have given them my money. But this man was so interested in scaring me, the scarcity mindset out of,” Oh. Well, we don’t know if you qualify for coaching conversation. And we don’t know if you’re willing to do the work that it’s going to take.” I mean, I wanted to hang up. 

Mario Fachini [19:03]

Why don’t you? 

Anutza Bellissimo [19:03]

And I wanted to just say to him – because I wanted to give him – I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Because I thought to myself, “Okay. This might be one thing that I’m interested in understanding or learning more about.” And I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt. I’ve watched all these videos, They really sold me in the front. And then when it came to talking to the actual human being, I was so turned off. I thought, “And you want me to give you $10,000? Are you kidding me?” Before I spoke to the human being, I actually considered it. After I spoke to the human being, I was like, “There’s no way of doing business with these people.” They run out of scarcity. I cannot function from a business with someone who’s constantly afraid. That is the last thing I want in my space is someone working with me or trying to teach me something and they’re in fight or flight. 

Mario Fachini [20:02]

It’s not a good place. I know exactly what you mean. 

Anutza Bellissimo [20:07]

That’s not a good place. 

Mario Fachini [20:07]

Because I’ve been getting hit up for years, LinkedIn, Facebook, and whatever, just for business. And ever since I launched EA Interviews, now people want to be on the show too. And it’s very interesting to see how people are behind the scenes because you can look at their website and be like, “Wow. This is awesome.’ And you talk to them and you’re like, “Dude, you need to go to Hollywood. You’re going to get an Academy Award.” And that’s the thing with marketing  because I helped – 

Anutza Bellissimo [20:33]

Yes. Marketing. 

Mario Fachini [20:36]

What’s that? 

Anutza Bellissimo [20:36]

Marketing. 

Mario Fachini [20:37]

Yeah. I help people with the funnels and this process. And if you are doing discovery calls for anyone listening, don’t call them discovery calls. Customize them to what you do specifically for the benefit you’re going to give them. And don’t have the intent that you’re going to sell them on the call. I had one today and I just wanted to add value because the reality is, even if you’re chomping at the bit to get started, maybe I don’t want you, maybe you don’t qualify. It’s just as much as a filter for me as it is for someone else. But I’ve been on them. And it’s the same thing, “Okay. We’ll work on that.” And I’m like, “Well, it sounds good. Let me stop you there. No. I’ll make this easy for you. I’m not wasting another 45 minutes of you going through the script. You’re not even listening to me. Put the phone down for a second and listen.” 

Anutza Bellissimo [21:26]

And the point – exactly. And at the end of this 20 minute call, I thought to myself, “What a waste of time. I don’t even know what he was trying to sell me. I still have no clue.” I kept asking, “But what is it that you’re providing?” Well, we don’t know if you qualify for that. So we’ll get to that. 

Mario Fachini [21:45]

And let me ask you this, if they were nicer and had gone about it different, you probably would have paid 15 or 20 if you knew it was clear and would have helped you. 

Anutza Bellissimo [21:54]

Right. Exactly. That’s the point. But I’m telling you, it has everything to do with the fight or flight response. It’s so simple to point out someone who’s in fight or flight, someone who doesn’t have the ability to regulate their nervous system or self-reflect, or just take the time to breathe. 

Mario Fachini [22:19]

I got to interject here. How can you tell if someone’s just antsy, anxious, and they’re just operating out of that? Or they just have like 15 Starbucks and they’re just winging? 

Anutza Bellissimo [22:30]

Well, that’s my point. That’s question by the way. 

Mario Fachini [22:33]

I wasn’t even trying to be serious. That was somewhat mostly a joke but thanks. I plan that. 

Anutza Bellissimo [22:39]

No. Actually, I just had this discussion with one of my clients who took himself off of social media, took himself off of coffee, because he realized in our work that these are addictive behaviors. And when he reached a level of success in his business, he didn’t change the behavior. He kept doing the same thing. And then reached a plateau. And was trying to get to the next level. But couldn’t understand how his stress and lack of communication, emotional, intelligence was affecting not only his personal but his professional life. 

Mario Fachini [23:16]

So addiction can be more than drugs and alcohol. 

Anutza Bellissimo [23:20]

Oh my gosh, yeah. Addiction is TV and food. And here’s the best one that we get addicted to, relationships. People constantly the serial dating, looking for the next one, looking for the next one, seeking the high, the chemical endorphins. It’s no different than a gambler. It’s no different than someone who’s addicted to a drug. Because they’re looking for the dopamine head that you get when you start meeting or you start dating or you’re courting someone. It’s an addictive behavior. No different than being addicted to [inaudible] [00:24:00]. 

Mario Fachini [24:00]

What I’m hearing here is that people should be more self-aware of what they’re doing and not worry about the outcome so much as the habits that they’re creating it with. 

Anutza Bellissimo [24:11]

Yes. Here’s what comes to mind, if this person – I just the other day, when you saw me online, interviewing DeLores Garcia. She is passionate. She’s real. She’s genuine. She’s not wanting to take. She wants to give. And I can feel – you can feel that when a person just wants to take. You can feel that. That’s what I’m talking about when someone isn’t able to self-regulate, they’re not self-aware, and they’ve got this energy of fight or flight, “Give me. Give me. Give me. I want to take from you.” And yeah, sure they might be able to put on a sweet little face for a little while. But eventually they’re going to lose their top. It’s just a matter of time. It’s not if. It’s when. Get it handled. 

Mario Fachini [25:03]

Make sure you have social acuity. 

Anutza Bellissimo [25:04]

And now the holidays are here – yes. And the holidays are here so people feel pressure to spend more money on gifts for people that they never talked to. And go to parties that they don’t want to go to, to see people that they don’t want to see. And, you know, it’s on and on. So most people don’t understand how these little – what they call or consider – little instances in their life are building up and up and up. And now we have a very high level of stress and it’s chronic. It’s constant. We’re not meant to handle that level of stress all the time. And caffeine puts stress on your body. So if you’re not getting the rest that you need and you need a bunch of caffeine to motivate you to wake up or to run your business, you’re doing wrong and you’re in the wrong business. That’s just my – 

Mario Fachini [26:03]

Wow. That’s a good transition point. I’m like, “I didn’t overdo it. I was only a little.” I don’t drink coffee every day. I’m not against it. But when you can get into – I call it – invincibility mode when it’s like, you know, you close 14 deals, you get off stage, you just launched a book, you’re launching a new app, you launched a new show, and everything’s going, you don’t want to sleep. But you can’t do it forever and I totally get that. I just was like, “No. No. I’ve been getting rest, I think. Whatever. We’re going to move on from this one because I don’t want to talk about me.” No. I’m totally open with it and I’m totally with it. 

Anutza Bellissimo [26:39]

It’s a huge component. Sleep is really important. Yeah. [Inaudible] [00:26:41]. 

Mario Fachini [26:41]

Let me ask you though, in all seriousness, transformation. I know you’ve helped so many people and you’re great at what you do. What’s the biggest transformation you’ve been able to give somebody? 

Anutza Bellissimo [26:51]

Wow. That’s a tough question right there. 

Mario Fachini [26:54]

Is it tough because you have to think of it or you have to narrow it down from dozens to one? 

Anutza Bellissimo [27:00]

I have to narrow it down. I mean, there’s certain people that really come to mind that I could just tear up and cry right now thinking about the difference that the work made for them. But I would say that it’s sort of – it’s just hard to say but it’s also – 

Mario Fachini [27:28]

You can share it. Don’t go surface level because people need to know this. 

Anutza Bellissimo [27:32]

It’s challenging. Because the work is so deep. And people don’t understand what’s available to them until they feel or experience waking up in the morning and it’s not anything conscious. It just comes up in the words, “I’m happy. I feel good.” You don’t have to even think [inaudible] [00:28:00]. It’s not a mantra on your [inaudible] [00:28:03] or something that you have to put on your app to remind you to say. There’s nothing that I could describe or compare it to. I wish I could say there’s one person. But there’s been people at different levels, you know, like a CEO or a senior vice president of a really big school all the way down to a young girl that is in her teens and is going through trouble and crisis in her life and taking the course even though it’s court ordered. It’s the best thing that could have happened for her as opposed to someone being boss ordered. Or occasionally, once in a while, someone doesn’t have crisis and they come in and they say, “I want to work on myself.” But that’s super rare. I wish I could just give you an example of one person but they’re at different levels and different lifestyles and I’m telling you – 

Mario Fachini [29:07]

Why don’t you take one of the corporate ones? Because there’s one that comes to mind about like six months later – he was having issues with the family. And like six months later, he is making time for them and profits actually went up from doing less. 

Anutza Bellissimo [29:24]

Oh my goodness. I’m thinking – oh, yeah. I know who you’re talking about. Speaking of LinkedIn, we just connected. I was like, “Hey, how are you doing?” And he’s still doing really good. 

So this was earlier in my practice where he was one of those people that said, “Sort of an issue for me. And my wife thinks I should come in and get this – you know, get started working on myself.” And he did. He was self-employed. And after going through the communication portion of the work – and everyone is different because the courses are tailored according to the individual. There’s no throwing spaghetti on the wall and let’s see what sticks. Each and every person completes an assessment. It’s very thorough. It’s 244 questions. It takes a good 45 minutes. I’m looking for areas that you’re out of integrity. The spaces that you don’t — those scotomas as John [inaudible [30:39] says that wheels those blind spots that we can’t see in our life. And then we take that and we look at your personal objectives. And that gives me an idea of how aware or how clueless are you of what you’re doing in your life. Because a lot of people are really not aware, obviously, of how their communication, their stress factor, the way that they compose themselves, their body language affects those around them. So when we do something like that and we’re working with even a third party survey, we survey their friends and family if they allow us. We get deep. And working on how people feel when they get to see how people feel around them when they’re under stress, how people are afraid, how people avoid them, how people will lie to them, how people will take from them because all of these factors, then it’s the shift. It’s a huge shift. And in fact, that one client was one of my group clients in the History Channel clip. There’s a big part in the beginning. And he made the most significant change every day. All he did – and this sounds really simple – was he started to understand the work and be present. He was focused on being present. Not how do I fix this problem? Why is she saying that? What does that mean? It was being present. And that is the biggest gift that you can give someone is to actually be present and feel and hear them from their spirit, who they’re being, the sense of who they are. Just being with someone. Not being in the room. Many times I’ve been in the room with someone who I’m talking to and they’re on their phone. “Uh-huh. Uh huh. Yeah. Yeah. Uh huh.” Not that. Not hurry up and listen to me and run out the door. Really being present with people. And again, that comes from self-regulation. 

Mario Fachini [32:57]

You want them listening with their eyes. 

Anutza Bellissimo [33:02]

Listening with their heart. Listening with their eyes You know, feeling that essence of what is it that you need from me right now? And I don’t always need you to fix it. Most of the time, I just need you to listen so I can fix it myself. I like people who like to teach me things. Not do things for me. Does that make sense? 

Mario Fachini [33:24]

It absolutely does. 

Anutza Bellissimo [33:26]

It gives value. And it shows that you trust me enough to teach me something, to spend time with me, to listen to me, to get me. That’s what minimizes those negative coping skills that most people have in place, like sex, drugs, alcohol, food, TV, numbing out. Just the numbing out source, whether it’s going out all the time, never being alone. They can’t handle being alone. There’s so many components of this. But he certainly took not only his life but his business. And I think it was like 30 percent increase in his income. It was amazing. But that’s just one story. And there’s been so many. I told you I was like, “Wow. I can’t believe I’ve been doing this for so long.” When I die, I hope that some of those people show up and party together that we all got to experience each other’s spirit and be a better version of ourselves together. 

Mario Fachini [34:40]

Well, I have no doubt you’re making the impact. It’s been fun watching over the years. And I want to ask you, who is someone you would love to work with that you know you can help that you haven’t been able to that is either a sports or celebrity or someone everyone would know? 

Anutza Bellissimo [34:58]

That’s another good question. Really? Oh my goodness. I don’t know. I mean, I feel a little concerned about saying that outloud. Hm? You know, I’d have to think about that for a second. Let me think, who do I think in the public that would benefit from-  I’m sure people are thinking of people right now aren’t they? They’re like, “Oh, I know.” Because you know what I always say? If I had a penny for every person that I met and they asked me what I do for a living, and they said to me, “Oh, I know someone who needs to see you.” 

Mario Fachini [35:37]

Do you ever get anyone that says themself they’re that aware that they need it and admit it? Or do you ever have one from Person A referring person being Person B and Person B is referring A? 

Anutza Bellissimo [35:54]

Yes. Yes to both. I do. I have had some people that are really aware. And they’re like, “You know what? This is the time I could really use the training that you provide.” And then it’s usually, you know – 

Mario Fachini [36:08]

“No, I’m fine. But you need to talk to Jack and Jill. I’m fine but you need to talk Jill.” 

Anutza Bellissimo [36:10]

Yeah. Exactly. The other person is the problem. personal problem. Yeah. A lot. Yeah. l 

Mario Fachini [36:20]

Alright. So instead of working with them, who’s someone you find interesting as an entrepreneur you just love to meet? That was more of the intent. But with what you do, I’m like, “Yeah. There’s a lot of people that I know need it.” Like pretty much everyone on whatever level. But who would you just love to meet that inspires you as an entrepreneur and CEO? 

Anutza Bellissimo [36:42]

Let’s see. Hold on a second. So the first person that comes to my mind, I love Oprah. I love Tony. I love Renee. I love what they stand for. I love their work in the world. I love their personal power. I love their courage. As far as working with people, I still want to come up with one of those. Can I just like Google celebrities? 

Mario Fachini [37:17]

Well, I’ll tell you what, we’re going to go to the Imperfect Action Round. And we’re thanking the sponsor, you’re welcome to – I was actually going to joke and say you’re not using a cheat sheet and Googling stuff now are you? 

Anutza Bellissimo [37:29]

I was. I was going to say, “Can I Google angry celebrities?” 

Mario Fachini [37:35]

All right. Well, we’re going to thank our sponsor and come back for the Imperfect Action Round. 

SPONSOR Rosh Tips [37:38]

Winning With Google in 2020. I have no doubt you want to for your business. But who do you trust? And where do you start? I’d advise Rush Sillars. Not only was he Episode 22’s featured VIP guest but he’s also a Google specialist with search advertising and YouTube. And I had him put together this free Winning With Google in 2020 Guide for you to get started with right now. Go to EAInterviews.com/RoshTips to get your free download now. Once again, that’s EAInterviews. com/ RoshTips. 

Mario Fachini [38:14]

All right. And we are back with the Imperfect Action Round. Anutza, are you ready to take imperfect action? 

Anutza Bellissimo [38:22]

Okay. Let’s do this. 

Mario Fachini [38:23]

All right. These are 60 second answers rapid fire. And I just wanted to follow back up. You were doing a little bit of research intelligence – intelligence gathering research. Do you want to complete that thought or do you just want to – 

Anutza Bellissimo [38:38]

You know, the only person that keeps coming up on this feed is Alec Baldwin? 

Mario Fachini [38:47]

Oh, geez. You can’t talk about him. I had him on the show last week. 

Anutza Bellissimo [38:53]

No. Really, there’s several here. 

Mario Fachini [38:55]

He would actually be a great example. And I’m just going to transition to the Imperfect Action Round with – if you can hear what I’m saying, you should check out the Comedy Central Roast with him. 

Anutza Bellissimo [39:05]

Okay. 

Mario Fachini [39:05]

All right. Imperfect – good answer. What’s the first question? What is it? Okay. What is the fastest path to the cash in your experience? 

Anutza Bellissimo [39:20]

Kindness. 

Mario Fachini [39:21]

Why? 

Anutza Bellissimo [39:24]

Reciprocity. 

Mario Fachini [39:26]

It’s not Wheel of Fortune. You don’t need to give a different answer. I was curious, why is it kindness? 

Anutza Bellissimo [39:32]

Yeah. Because of reciprocity. It’s human nature. 

Mario Fachini [39:37]

Okay.  Fair enough. I got it. My bad. My bad. 

Anutza Bellissimo [39:41]

You flunking on the job here, Bonny. 

Mario Fachini [39:48]

Number two – awesome – what is the biggest problem you see your prospects making and the fastest way they can fix it? 

Anutza Bellissimo [39:57]

Biggest problem, not slowing down. Too fast. Always busy. And what was the second part of your question? 

Mario Fachini [40:06]

The fastest way they can fix it? 

Anutza Bellissimo [40:08]

Fastest way to fix it? Work with me. No. Really. 

Mario Fachini [40:13]

There’ll be a link in the show notes. 

Anutza Bellissimo [40:14]

Work with me. And choose. Choose differently. 

Mario Fachini [40:24]

Number three – here we go – what is the best way to maximize customer lifetime value? 

Anutza Bellissimo [40:32]

Authenticity and vulnerability. 

Mario Fachini [40:37]

Excellent. Books. What is a book or three you could recommend? You’re cheating again. 

Anutza Bellissimo [40:45]

Ah, I am. Oh my gosh. Off the top of my head. Hold on. Okay. I’ll go with Highly Effective Executive, number one, Anutza Bellissimo. Number two, Breaking The Anger Habit by – first one – system going up off the top of my head – Anutza Bellissimo. All right. Wait. There’s one more. Oh, what is it? The Habit Loop. 

Mario Fachini [41:15]

Say it again? 

Anutza Bellissimo [41:16]

Habit Loop. 

Mario Fachini [41:17]

By? 

Anutza Bellissimo [41:18]

Hold on. I have it right there. It’s in my bookshelf. 

Mario Fachini [41:21]

How are you not naming Brene Brown? She’s awesome. And she has books and you already mentioned her.

Anutza Bellissimo [41:27]

I know but I can’t think of the names off the top of my head. These are the ones that I used within my practice. Okay? So this is what I know makes a difference. Oh, Becoming Supernatural, Joe Dispenza. That’s a big one. I’m telling you, I’m going to leave the screen and I’m going to go get my books. So these are my favorites. I’m not doing self-promotion at this point. Are you ready for them? 

Mario Fachini [42:04]

Of course. I’m still here. 

Anutza Bellissimo [42:08]

First one – 

Mario Fachini [42:09]

The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg. I’ve had at least one other VIP guests mention that one. Episode 27, I want to say, Nicole Gebhardt. 

Anutza Bellissimo [42:23]

Look, I have a couple of stickies in here actually. And there’s my next one. 

Mario Fachini [42:29]

Can you say it for me with the author?

Anutza Bellissimo [42:32]

Becoming Supernatural by Dr. Joe Dispenza. 

Mario Fachini [42:36]

Excellent. 

Anutza Bellissimo [42:37]

But before there was this, this is the book that made a significant change for me, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza. That is my all time favorite. Because it’s really what my people are doing. 

Mario Fachini [42:52]

And where’s yours because I am going to be asking me where people can get your books and learn more about you. 

Anutza Bellissimo [42:57]

I don’t have it. Someone else just asked me for one. I don’t even have any more. 

Mario Fachini [43:01]

That’s a good problem. Best selling author. 

Anutza Bellissimo [43:03]

I know. 

Mario Fachini [43:04]

It doesn’t mean best to keep in stock. You’re supposed to be selling them. 

Anutza Bellissimo [43:08]

I don’t have any more. I do. I need to get more in stock. But I don’t have any more. When I go back out and I’m traveling again, I will have some more. But everything else – 

Mario Fachini [43:18]

You’re doing it right. My stock is getting low too because I keep selling them. That’s the way it’s supposed to do. When someone’s like, “Yeah, I got 1,000 in stock.” Like, “You need to make an offer, bro.” 

Anutza Bellissimo [43:30]

That’s a problem. That was my anthology, the very first one. You know, I was like, “Okay. We’re going to give the rest of these away.” And then I learned. 

Mario Fachini [43:39]

Well, it’s been an absolute pleasure. You always deliver value. And I’m so glad you were able to. 

Anutza Bellissimo [43:45]

Oh, you’re so sweet. You don’t have any more rapid fire questions? 

Mario Fachini [43:49]

You did the three. 

Anutza Bellissimo [43:53]

That was fun. 

Mario Fachini [43:50]

You liked those, ha? 

Anutza Bellissimo [43:53]

Yeah. It puts me on – you know, like, I don’t have anyone to challenge me the way that you do. 

Mario Fachini [43:57]

I could queue up a scoreboard and have like Wheel of Fortune on here if you really want me to. We’ll be like, “All right. Three spins or less otherwise -” 

Anutza Bellissimo [44:05]

I got [inaudible] [00:44:06]. 

Mario Fachini [44:06]

Where can people learn more about you? 

Anutza Bellissimo [44:11]

TheSamiGroup.com. T-H-E – SAMI is the acronym for Stress and Anger Management Institute. So T-H-E-S-A-M-I-G-R-O-U-P.com. 

Mario Fachini [44:23]

Excellent. This has been an absolute pleasure. Thank you again for sharing, Anutza. 

Anutza Bellissimo [44:27]

I am so glad you caught me and you were like, “Hey, let’s do this.” I was like, “Okay. That’s crazy. Sure. Let’s do it tomorrow.” Thank you, Mario. I had a blast. It’s always fun with you. I’ll see you on the dance floor, my friend. 

Mario Fachini [44:41]

Looking forward to it. All right. Expert Authority World, we got another great episode here. I’ll see you on tomorrow’s. Have a great day. And God bless. 

SPONSOR Pipedrive [44:52]

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www.EAInterviews.com [45:06]

Hey, thanks for listening to today’s episode. I hope you got a lot out of it. I know I sure did. If you haven’t done so already, I invite you to subscribe to the show. And also be sure to check out EAInterviews.com for complete show notes, the full interview video experience, links to the resources we mentioned, and more. Have a blessed day and I’ll see you tomorrow.